lets live life loving

LOVE BOAT

2010-07-26T14:39:00.027-05:00

One more post couldn't hurt... plus this is a great story! The beginning of a story is always super duper interesting when it's a love story. Here is the beginning of Mylo and Me... (it's happy-sappy, so if this kind of stuff makes you sick, and you already ate lunch- hold on to it)...
So it all starts with a midnight phone call. (see, told you this is a good story!)
A midnight phone call from none other than my mother, letting me know that she had just finished doing my taxes for me (nice Mom!) and she was almost 100% positive I was getting a return of digits that would make me sing hallelujah! And so I decided to save half and spend half. And decided that my single mom friends and "sisters" I never had but wish I had, could use a vacation cruise! I hadn't seen the ocean in 7 years. It was time. I booked the tickets and before I knew it we were setting sail to the Bahamas... And that, ladies and gents, is where I met Pedro! Just kidding. :) So where was I... setting sail! First night, we got our rooms, ate, then Heather and I headed to the flirt floor to get our dance on. I ended up having an early night after all, thanks to some mixed fruity thing. At least I made it safely back to the cabin- (thank you Heather!.. and small band of sweet highschool boys that treated me like an old lady who lost her cane and memory.) The next morning (also known as afternoon) we went up to the top deck to relax, drink coffee, and take in the beautiful view! A guy walked up and asked to sit with us and introduced himself as Matt, and added that his single English friends (Myles, Cookie, and Dan)were on the cruise with him. (praise the Lord!) So the guys came over as well, we all shook hands and made room for more at the table. I was feeling a bit "rough," (as in: seeing and hearing were difficult tasks)and don't remember what we talked about, but was happy we were making friends with sexy accents and would be on an island soon where the ground wouldn't be rocking back and forth.
We all spent the day sun bathing, talked, laughed, had lunch, then headed back to the boat to get ready for dinner. That night we met up with the guys again for more conversation, laughs, and drinks... but due to the night before- only one beer for me! Fully sober, I was able to understand and participate in conversation, notice Mylo, Mylo's eyes, Mylo's smile.. and OOP!- He's smiling at me! He was right across from me and there was a moment he smiled and we caught eyes. It was the kind of moment when you feel like someone just opened a jar of butterflies in your belly. The kind of look that makes you look away for fear your facial expression may look like that of a child who just woke up on Christmas. The kind of moment when you know you're going to be in big, good ole fashioned trouble, if his heart is as beautiful as his face! We all walked around the boat for a bit, and then Mylo came up, held out his arm like a gentleman and asked if I would be his date for the evening. Arm in arm we went to the top deck that was fairly empty of people and noise. We talked, told stories, listened to the wind and waves, then like a fairytale, he gave me our first kiss under the Moon and stars overlooking the ocean. (Like that famous scene in the Movie Titanic, but way better because of the romantic stars and the fact that our ship wasn't sinking.) ;)
The next several days were reeeeeeeeeeeeally special and we all had so much fun together! I was bracing myself for the sad ending when we would return to the port and have to say goodbye. But Mylo wasn't ready to say goodbye either! Since that time he has bent over backwards making it possible for us to keep seeing each other states apart, meeting friends and starting to meet family- he met my boys too! We've been having a great time together. I'm making big changes in my life to be with this man and for him to be with me and the boys during our time together. I'm a busy bee...Lots of travel, and I'm training for a business I can run in both Tulsa and Orlando. We're setting up to move next week to a new house in Orlando, and keeping my apartment for our time here in Tulsa. ..A lot going on- and I couldn't be happier! Mylo is a handsome, kind, wonderful man with a really big heart! He is so loving and understanding. He took my breath away with his pursuit of my heart and has captured it completely! We grew up very differently from each other, we're from different countries, and have different life stories, but we share the same desires for life, love and happiness and together we have found it! The End ...of just the beginning! :)

It's been interesting...

2010-01-23T22:26:00.004-06:00

This is my last blog post. It was fun to have for a few years, but I really am quite busy to keep up with it anymore. Fairwell blog world. :)

We're moving back to Tulsa!

2009-10-29T06:51:00.004-05:00

The boys and I pack up and move back to Tulsa this week. I am happy to go and sad to go at the same time. My parents and some good friends live here in Memphis so I know I'll be back often, but it's still not the same as being here of course. If you think of us, please pray that we'll find good therapists for the boys and that their transition to their new school will be a good one. Also, that God would guide me in my decisions and help me know what to do in regards to school and/or finding a good job once I get to Tulsa. I'm going to miss you Memphians!

Photo Update!

2009-09-14T23:51:00.005-05:00

If I had only known.

2009-08-23T16:34:00.009-05:00

Autism, nor any of the like, runs in my family, and it's not present in Sam's family either. Both of my children were given vaccinations through our local health department- as the boys and I were on Tenncare when I was married to Sam and he was a full time student. I remember both of my kids having their shots- as all mothers and fathers dread the niddleprick and our kid's big teary eyes looking up at us like, "Why did you just let them hurt me?" But the thought that we were preventing something worse inabled us to hold back our own tears and let our babies know that everything was okay. But... that was then. I now offer a quote from Jenny McCarthy, who has been outspoken in her criticism of vaccines, said in a Time interview, "If you ask a parent of an autistic child if they want the measles or the autism, we will stand in line for the f___ing measles."

*** Most parents, including myself, recognize that immunizing children against life-threatening diseases is something worth doing. Many who get tagged as "anti-vaccine" really just want to make vaccines safer, eliminating potentially damaging ingredients and amending vaccination schedules so that young immune systems are not bombarded.***

Here posted is an article from the Global Research Editor's note

We bring to the attention of our readers this 2005 article by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. published by Rollingstone.com.

The article sheds light on the collusion between Big Parma and the US government and the dangers associated with vaccines produced by major pharmaceutical companies. This article is of particular relevance to the current debate on the H1N1 swine flu virus and plans by the WHO, The Obama Administration and Big Pharma to develop a swine flu vaccine.

The article by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. documented "the government's efforts to conceal alarming data about the dangers of vaccines."

For a review of Global Research articles on the H1NI Swine Flu Pandemic, click here.

Michel Chossudovsky, July 23, 2009

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. investigates the government cover-up of a mercury/autism scandal

In June 2000, a group of top government scientists and health officials gathered for a meeting at the isolated Simpsonwood conference center in Norcross, Georgia. Convened by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the meeting was held at this Methodist retreat center, nestled in wooded farmland next to the Chattahoochee River, to ensure complete secrecy. The agency had issued no public announcement of the session -- only private invitations to fifty-two attendees. There were high-level officials from the CDC and the Food and Drug Administration, the top vaccine specialist from the World Health Organization in Geneva and representatives of every major vaccine manufacturer, including GlaxoSmithKline, Merck, Wyeth and Aventis Pasteur. All of the scientific data under discussion, CDC officials repeatedly reminded the participants, was strictly "embargoed." There would be no making photocopies of documents, no taking papers with them when they left.

The federal officials and industry representatives had assembled to discuss a disturbing new study that raised alarming questions about the safety of a host of common childhood vaccines administered to infants and young children. According to a CDC epidemiologist named Tom Verstraeten, who had analyzed the agency's massive database containing the medical records of 100,000 children, a mercury-based preservative in the vaccines -- thimerosal -- appeared to be responsible for a dramatic increase in autism and a host of other neurological disorders among children. "I was actually stunned by what I saw," Verstraeten told those assembled at Simpsonwood, citing the staggering number of earlier studies that indicate a link between thimerosal and speech delays, attention-deficit disorder, hyperactivity and autism. Since 1991, when the CDC and the FDA had recommended that three additional vaccines laced with the preservative be given to extremely young infants -- in one case, within hours of birth -- the estimated number of cases of autism had increased fifteenfold, from one in every 2,500 children to one in 166 children.

Even for scientists and doctors accustomed to confronting issues of life and death, the findings were frightening. "You can play with this all you want," Dr. Bill Weil, a consultant for the American Academy of Pediatrics, told the group. The results "are statistically significant." Dr. Richard Johnston, an immunologist and pediatrician from the University of Colorado whose grandson had been born early on the morning of the meeting's first day, was even more alarmed. "My gut feeling?" he said. "Forgive this personal comment -- I do not want my grandson to get a thimerosal-containing vaccine until we know better what is going on."

But instead of taking immediate steps to alert the public and rid the vaccine supply of thimerosal, the officials and executives at Simpsonwood spent most of the next two days discussing how to cover up the damaging data. According to transcripts obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, many at the meeting were concerned about how the damaging revelations about thimerosal would affect the vaccine industry's bottom line. "We are in a bad position from the standpoint of defending any lawsuits," said Dr. Robert Brent, a pediatrician at the Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children in Delaware. "This will be a resource to our very busy plaintiff attorneys in this country." Dr. Bob Chen, head of vaccine safety for the CDC, expressed relief that "given the sensitivity of the information, we have been able to keep it out of the hands of, let's say, less responsible hands." Dr. John Clements, vaccines advisor at the World Health Organization, declared that "perhaps this study should not have been done at all." He added that "the research results have to be handled," warning that the study "will be taken by others and will be used in other ways beyond the control of this group."

In fact, the government has proved to be far more adept at handling the damage than at protecting children's health. The CDC paid the Institute of Medicine to conduct a new study to whitewash the risks of thimerosal, ordering researchers to "rule out" the chemical's link to autism. It withheld Verstraeten's findings, even though they had been slated for immediate publication, and told other scientists that his original data had been "lost" and could not be replicated. And to thwart the Freedom of Information Act, it handed its giant database of vaccine records over to a private company, declaring it off-limits to researchers. By the time Verstraeten finally published his study in 2003, he had gone to work for GlaxoSmithKline and reworked his data to bury the link between thimerosal and autism.

Vaccine manufacturers had already begun to phase thimerosal out of injections given to American infants -- but they continued to sell off their mercury-based supplies of vaccines until last year. The CDC and FDA gave them a hand, buying up the tainted vaccines for export to developing countries and allowing drug companies to continue using the preservative in some American vaccines -- including several pediatric flu shots as well as tetanus boosters routinely given to eleven-year-olds.
The drug companies are also getting help from powerful lawmakers in Washington. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, who has received $873,000 in contributions from the pharmaceutical industry, has been working to immunize vaccine makers from liability in 4,200 lawsuits that have been filed by the parents of injured children. On five separate occasions, Frist has tried to seal all of the government's vaccine-related documents -- including the Simpsonwood transcripts -- and shield Eli Lilly, the developer of thimerosal, from subpoenas. In 2002, the day after Frist quietly slipped a rider known as the "Eli Lilly Protection Act" into a homeland security bill, the company contributed $10,000 to his campaign and bought 5,000 copies of his book on bioterrorism. The measure was repealed by Congress in 2003 -- but earlier this year, Frist slipped another provision into an anti-terrorism bill that would deny compensation to children suffering from vaccine-related brain disorders. "The lawsuits are of such magnitude that they could put vaccine producers out of business and limit our capacity to deal with a biological attack by terrorists," says Dean Rosen, health policy adviser to Frist.

Even many conservatives are shocked by the government's effort to cover up the dangers of thimerosal. Rep. Dan Burton, a Republican from Indiana, oversaw a three-year investigation of thimerosal after his grandson was diagnosed with autism. "Thimerosal used as a preservative in vaccines is directly related to the autism epidemic," his House Government Reform Committee concluded in its final report. "This epidemic in all probability may have been prevented or curtailed had the FDA not been asleep at the switch regarding a lack of safety data regarding injected thimerosal, a known neurotoxin." The FDA and other public-health agencies failed to act, the committee added, out of "institutional malfeasance for self protection" and "misplaced protectionism of the pharmaceutical industry."

The story of how government health agencies colluded with Big Pharma to hide the risks of thimerosal from the public is a chilling case study of institutional arrogance, power and greed. I was drawn into the controversy only reluctantly. As an attorney and environmentalist who has spent years working on issues of mercury toxicity, I frequently met mothers of autistic children who were absolutely convinced that their kids had been injured by vaccines. Privately, I was skeptical.

I doubted that autism could be blamed on a single source, and I certainly understood the government's need to reassure parents that vaccinations are safe; the eradication of deadly childhood diseases depends on it. I tended to agree with skeptics like Rep. Henry Waxman, a Democrat from California, who criticized his colleagues on the House Government Reform Committee for leaping to conclusions about autism and vaccinations. "Why should we scare people about immunization," Waxman pointed out at one hearing, "until we know the facts?"

It was only after reading the Simpsonwood transcripts, studying the leading scientific research and talking with many of the nation's pre-eminent authorities on mercury that I became convinced that the link between thimerosal and the epidemic of childhood neurological disorders is real. Five of my own children are members of the Thimerosal Generation -- those born between 1989 and 2003 -- who received heavy doses of mercury from vaccines. "The elementary grades are overwhelmed with children who have symptoms of neurological or immune-system damage," Patti White, a school nurse, told the House Government Reform Committee in 1999. "Vaccines are supposed to be making us healthier; however, in twenty-five years of nursing I have never seen so many damaged, sick kids. Something very, very wrong is happening to our children."

More than 500,000 kids currently suffer from autism, and pediatricians diagnose more than 40,000 new cases every year. The disease was unknown until 1943, when it was identified and diagnosed among eleven children born in the months after thimerosal was first added to baby vaccines in 1931.

Some skeptics dispute that the rise in autism is caused by thimerosal-tainted vaccinations. They argue that the increase is a result of better diagnosis -- a theory that seems questionable at best, given that most of the new cases of autism are clustered within a single generation of children. "If the epidemic is truly an artifact of poor diagnosis," scoffs Dr. Boyd Haley, one of the world's authorities on mercury toxicity, "then where are all the twenty-year-old autistics?" Other researchers point out that Americans are exposed to a greater cumulative "load" of mercury than ever before, from contaminated fish to dental fillings, and suggest that thimerosal in vaccines may be only part of a much larger problem. It's a concern that certainly deserves far more attention than it has received -- but it overlooks the fact that the mercury concentrations in vaccines dwarf other sources of exposure to our children.

What is most striking is the lengths to which many of the leading detectives have gone to ignore -- and cover up -- the evidence against thimerosal. From the very beginning, the scientific case against the mercury additive has been overwhelming. The preservative, which is used to stem fungi and bacterial growth in vaccines, contains ethylmercury, a potent neurotoxin. Truckloads of studies have shown that mercury tends to accumulate in the brains of primates and other animals after they are injected with vaccines -- and that the developing brains of infants are particularly susceptible. In 1977, a Russian study found that adults exposed to much lower concentrations of ethylmercury than those given to American children still suffered brain damage years later. Russia banned thimerosal from children's vaccines twenty years ago, and Denmark, Austria, Japan, Great Britain and all the Scandinavian countries have since followed suit.

"You couldn't even construct a study that shows thimerosal is safe," says Haley, who heads the chemistry department at the University of Kentucky. "It's just too darn toxic. If you inject thimerosal into an animal, its brain will sicken. If you apply it to living tissue, the cells die. If you put it in a petri dish, the culture dies. Knowing these things, it would be shocking if one could inject it into an infant without causing damage."

Internal documents reveal that Eli Lilly, which first developed thimerosal, knew from the start that its product could cause damage -- and even death -- in both animals and humans. In 1930, the company tested thimerosal by administering it to twenty-two patients with terminal meningitis, all of whom died within weeks of being injected -- a fact Lilly didn't bother to report in its study declaring thimerosal safe. In 1935, researchers at another vaccine manufacturer, Pittman-Moore, warned Lilly that its claims about thimerosal's safety "did not check with ours." Half the dogs Pittman injected with thimerosal-based vaccines became sick, leading researchers there to declare the preservative "unsatisfactory as a serum intended for use on dogs."

In the decades that followed, the evidence against thimerosal continued to mount. During the Second World War, when the Department of Defense used the preservative in vaccines on soldiers, it required Lilly to label it "poison." In 1967, a study in Applied Microbiology found that thimerosal killed mice when added to injected vaccines. Four years later, Lilly's own studies discerned that thimerosal was "toxic to tissue cells" in concentrations as low as one part per million -- 100 times weaker than the concentration in a typical vaccine. Even so, the company continued to promote thimerosal as "nontoxic" and also incorporated it into topical disinfectants. In 1977, ten babies at a Toronto hospital died when an antiseptic preserved with thimerosal was dabbed onto their umbilical cords.

In 1982, the FDA proposed a ban on over-the-counter products that contained thimerosal, and in 1991 the agency considered banning it from animal vaccines. But tragically, that same year, the CDC recommended that infants be injected with a series of mercury-laced vaccines. Newborns would be vaccinated for hepatitis B within twenty-four hours of birth, and two-month-old infants would be immunized for haemophilus influenzae B and diphtheria-tetanus-pertussis.

The drug industry knew the additional vaccines posed a danger. The same year that the CDC approved the new vaccines, Dr. Maurice Hilleman, one of the fathers of Merck's vaccine programs, warned the company that six-month-olds who were administered the shots would suffer dangerous exposure to mercury. He recommended that thimerosal be discontinued, "especially when used on infants and children," noting that the industry knew of nontoxic alternatives. "The best way to go," he added, "is to switch to dispensing the actual vaccines without adding preservatives."

For Merck and other drug companies, however, the obstacle was money. Thimerosal enables the pharmaceutical industry to package vaccines in vials that contain multiple doses, which require additional protection because they are more easily contaminated by multiple needle entries. The larger vials cost half as much to produce as smaller, single-dose vials, making it cheaper for international agencies to distribute them to impoverished regions at risk of epidemics. Faced with this "cost consideration," Merck ignored Hilleman's warnings, and government officials continued to push more and more thimerosal-based vaccines for children. Before 1989, American preschoolers received eleven vaccinations -- for polio, diphtheria-tetanus-pertussis and measles-mumps-rubella. A decade later, thanks to federal recommendations, children were receiving a total of twenty-two immunizations by the time they reached first grade.

As the number of vaccines increased, the rate of autism among children exploded. During the 1990s, 40 million children were injected with thimerosal-based vaccines, receiving unprecedented levels of mercury during a period critical for brain development. Despite the well-documented dangers of thimerosal, it appears that no one bothered to add up the cumulative dose of mercury that children would receive from the mandated vaccines. "What took the FDA so long to do the calculations?" Peter Patriarca, director of viral products for the agency, asked in an e-mail to the CDC in 1999. "Why didn't CDC and the advisory bodies do these calculations when they rapidly expanded the childhood immunization schedule?"

But by that time, the damage was done. At two months, when the infant brain is still at a critical stage of development, infants routinely received three inoculations that contained a total of 62.5 micrograms of ethylmercury -- a level 99 times greater than the EPA's limit for daily exposure to methylmercury, a related neurotoxin. Although the vaccine industry insists that ethylmercury poses little danger because it breaks down rapidly and is removed by the body, several studies -- including one published in April by the National Institutes of Health -- suggest that ethylmercury is actually more toxic to developing brains and stays in the brain longer than methylmercury.

Officials responsible for childhood immunizations insist that the additional vaccines were necessary to protect infants from disease and that thimerosal is still essential in developing nations, which, they often claim, cannot afford the single-dose vials that don't require a preservative. Dr. Paul Offit, one of CDC's top vaccine advisers, told me, "I think if we really have an influenza pandemic -- and certainly we will in the next twenty years, because we always do -- there's no way on God's earth that we immunize 280 million people with single-dose vials. There has to be multidose vials."

But while public-health officials may have been well-intentioned, many of those on the CDC advisory committee who backed the additional vaccines had close ties to the industry. Dr. Sam Katz, the committee's chair, was a paid consultant for most of the major vaccine makers and was part of a team that developed the measles vaccine and brought it to licensure in 1963. Dr. Neal Halsey, another committee member, worked as a researcher for the vaccine companies and received honoraria from Abbott Labs for his research on the hepatitis B vaccine.

Indeed, in the tight circle of scientists who work on vaccines, such conflicts of interest are common. Rep. Burton says that the CDC "routinely allows scientists with blatant conflicts of interest to serve on intellectual advisory committees that make recommendations on new vaccines," even though they have "interests in the products and companies for which they are supposed to be providing unbiased oversight." The House Government Reform Committee discovered that four of the eight CDC advisers who approved guidelines for a rotavirus vaccine "had financial ties to the pharmaceutical companies that were developing different versions of the vaccine."

Offit, who shares a patent on one of the vaccines, acknowledged to me that he "would make money" if his vote eventually leads to a marketable product. But he dismissed my suggestion that a scientist's direct financial stake in CDC approval might bias his judgment. "It provides no conflict for me," he insists. "I have simply been informed by the process, not corrupted by it. When I sat around that table, my sole intent was trying to make recommendations that best benefited the children in this country. It's offensive to say that physicians and public-health people are in the pocket of industry and thus are making decisions that they know are unsafe for children. It's just not the way it works."

Other vaccine scientists and regulators gave me similar assurances. Like Offit, they view themselves as enlightened guardians of children's health, proud of their "partnerships" with pharmaceutical companies, immune to the seductions of personal profit, besieged by irrational activists whose anti-vaccine campaigns are endangering children's health. They are often resentful of questioning. "Science," says Offit, "is best left to scientists."

Still, some government officials were alarmed by the apparent conflicts of interest. In his e-mail to CDC administrators in 1999, Paul Patriarca of the FDA blasted federal regulators for failing to adequately scrutinize the danger posed by the added baby vaccines. "I'm not sure there will be an easy way out of the potential perception that the FDA, CDC and immunization-policy bodies may have been asleep at the switch re: thimerosal until now," Patriarca wrote. The close ties between regulatory officials and the pharmaceutical industry, he added, "will also raise questions about various advisory bodies regarding aggressive recommendations for use" of thimerosal in child vaccines.

If federal regulators and government scientists failed to grasp the potential risks of thimerosal over the years, no one could claim ignorance after the secret meeting at Simpsonwood. But rather than conduct more studies to test the link to autism and other forms of brain damage, the CDC placed politics over science. The agency turned its database on childhood vaccines -- which had been developed largely at taxpayer expense -- over to a private agency, America's Health Insurance Plans, ensuring that it could not be used for additional research. It also instructed the Institute of Medicine, an advisory organization that is part of the National Academy of Sciences, to produce a study debunking the link between thimerosal and brain disorders. The CDC "wants us to declare, well, that these things are pretty safe," Dr. Marie McCormick, who chaired the IOM's Immunization Safety Review Committee, told her fellow researchers when they first met in January 2001. "We are not ever going to come down that [autism] is a true side effect" of thimerosal exposure. According to transcripts of the meeting, the committee's chief staffer, Kathleen Stratton, predicted that the IOM would conclude that the evidence was "inadequate to accept or reject a causal relation" between thimerosal and autism. That, she added, was the result "Walt wants" -- a reference to Dr. Walter Orenstein, director of the National Immunization Program for the CDC.

For those who had devoted their lives to promoting vaccination, the revelations about thimerosal threatened to undermine everything they had worked for. "We've got a dragon by the tail here," said Dr. Michael Kaback, another committee member. "The more negative that [our] presentation is, the less likely people are to use vaccination, immunization -- and we know what the results of that will be. We are kind of caught in a trap. How we work our way out of the trap, I think is the charge."

Even in public, federal officials made it clear that their primary goal in studying thimerosal was to dispel doubts about vaccines. "Four current studies are taking place to rule out the proposed link between autism and thimerosal," Dr. Gordon Douglas, then-director of strategic planning for vaccine research at the National Institutes of Health, assured a Princeton University gathering in May 2001. "In order to undo the harmful effects of research claiming to link the [measles] vaccine to an elevated risk of autism, we need to conduct and publicize additional studies to assure parents of safety." Douglas formerly served as president of vaccinations for Merck, where he ignored warnings about thimerosal's risks.

In May of last year, the Institute of Medicine issued its final report. Its conclusion: There is no proven link between autism and thimerosal in vaccines. Rather than reviewing the large body of literature describing the toxicity of thimerosal, the report relied on four disastrously flawed epidemiological studies examining European countries, where children received much smaller doses of thimerosal than American kids. It also cited a new version of the Verstraeten study, published in the journal Pediatrics, that had been reworked to reduce the link between thimerosal and autism. The new study included children too young to have been diagnosed with autism and overlooked others who showed signs of the disease. The IOM declared the case closed and -- in a startling position for a scientific body -- recommended that no further research be conducted.

The report may have satisfied the CDC, but it convinced no one. Rep. David Weldon, a Republican physician from Florida who serves on the House Government Reform Committee, attacked the Institute of Medicine, saying it relied on a handful of studies that were "fatally flawed" by "poor design" and failed to represent "all the available scientific and medical research." CDC officials are not interested in an honest search for the truth, Weldon told me, because "an association between vaccines and autism would force them to admit that their policies irreparably damaged thousands of children. Who would want to make that conclusion about themselves?"

Under pressure from Congress and parents, the Institute of Medicine convened another panel to address continuing concerns about the Vaccine Safety Datalink Data Sharing program. In February, the new panel, composed of different scientists, criticized the way the VSD had been used in the Verstraeten study, and urged the CDC to make its vaccine database available to the public.

So far, though, only two scientists have managed to gain access. Dr. Mark Geier, president of the Genetics Center of America, and his son, David, spent a year battling to obtain the medical records from the CDC. Since August 2002, when members of Congress pressured the agency to turn over the data, the Geiers have completed six studies that demonstrate a powerful correlation between thimerosal and neurological damage in children. One study, which compares the cumulative dose of mercury received by children born between 1981 and 1985 with those born between 1990 and 1996, found a "very significant relationship" between autism and vaccines. Another study of educational performance found that kids who received higher doses of thimerosal in vaccines were nearly three times as likely to be diagnosed with autism and more than three times as likely to suffer from speech disorders and mental retardation. Another soon-to-be published study shows that autism rates are in decline following the recent elimination of thimerosal from most vaccines.

As the federal government worked to prevent scientists from studying vaccines, others have stepped in to study the link to autism. In April, reporter Dan Olmsted of UPI undertook one of the more interesting studies himself. Searching for children who had not been exposed to mercury in vaccines -- the kind of population that scientists typically use as a "control" in experiments -- Olmsted scoured the Amish of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, who refuse to immunize their infants. Given the national rate of autism, Olmsted calculated that there should be 130 autistics among the Amish. He found only four. One had been exposed to high levels of mercury from a power plant. The other three -- including one child adopted from outside the Amish community -- had received their vaccines.

At the state level, many officials have also conducted in-depth reviews of thimerosal. While the Institute of Medicine was busy whitewashing the risks, the Iowa legislature was carefully combing through all of the available scientific and biological data. "After three years of review, I became convinced there was sufficient credible research to show a link between mercury and the increased incidences in autism," says state Sen. Ken Veenstra, a Republican who oversaw the investigation. "The fact that Iowa's 700 percent increase in autism began in the 1990s, right after more and more vaccines were added to the children's vaccine schedules, is solid evidence alone." Last year, Iowa became the first state to ban mercury in vaccines, followed by California. Similar bans are now under consideration in thirty-two other states.

But instead of following suit, the FDA continues to allow manufacturers to include thimerosal in scores of over-the-counter medications as well as steroids and injected collagen. Even more alarming, the government continues to ship vaccines preserved with thimerosal to developing countries -- some of which are now experiencing a sudden explosion in autism rates. In China, where the disease was virtually unknown prior to the introduction of thimerosal by U.S. drug manufacturers in 1999, news reports indicate that there are now more than 1.8 million autistics. Although reliable numbers are hard to come by, autistic disorders also appear to be soaring in India, Argentina, Nicaragua and other developing countries that are now using thimerosal-laced vaccines. The World Health Organization continues to insist thimerosal is safe, but it promises to keep the possibility that it is linked to neurological disorders "under review."

I devoted time to study this issue because I believe that this is a moral crisis that must be addressed. If, as the evidence suggests, our public-health authorities knowingly allowed the pharmaceutical industry to poison an entire generation of American children, their actions arguably constitute one of the biggest scandals in the annals of American medicine. "The CDC is guilty of incompetence and gross negligence," says Mark Blaxill, vice president of Safe Minds, a nonprofit organization concerned about the role of mercury in medicines. "The damage caused by vaccine exposure is massive. It's bigger than asbestos, bigger than tobacco, bigger than anything you've ever seen."

It's hard to calculate the damage to our country -- and to the international efforts to eradicate epidemic diseases -- if Third World nations come to believe that America's most heralded foreign-aid initiative is poisoning their children. It's not difficult to predict how this scenario will be interpreted by America's enemies abroad. The scientists and researchers -- many of them sincere, even idealistic -- who are participating in efforts to hide the science on thimerosal claim that they are trying to advance the lofty goal of protecting children in developing nations from disease pandemics. They are badly misguided. Their failure to come clean on thimerosal will come back horribly to haunt our country and the world's poorest populations.

Redeeming Love

2009-08-17T20:39:00.003-05:00

Some girlfriends and I were at lunch on Sunday talking about the book, "Redeeming Love," by Francine Rivers, and how much we loved the book. Each one of us at the table have different personalities, goals, and perspectives on most topics- but we all agreed the book was fantastic and touched us somehow. I have never read a book more than once (not even the entire Bible all the way through) except for this book... Which I think over the course of two years, I've read somewhere around six or seven times, and I'm still not sick of it yet! Anyway, if there are any ladies- or gentlemen for that matter- out there interested in a good book- especially you ladies- I think I can safely say, Olga, Taylor, Mandy, and I highly recommend the book!... Just try not to get addicted to it like me! haha ;)

I'm going to be a Dental Hygienist!

2009-08-05T20:25:00.005-05:00

I really enjoy my current job as a dental assistant. I think that a big part of that enjoyment is due to the great staff and employers, but I also enjoy working on patients and using a skill that really makes a difference for someone and their self confidence. I love working with adult patients too, because for many of them, not having straight teeth has been a great hindrance to their life long confidence, and even their overall personality, because they always think to cover their mouth when smiling or laughing. They simply feel their teeth are unattractive. Being able to see someone gain confidence and smile in freedom is very rewarding. It also pays well... but you know what pays even better!!!... being a Dental Hygienist! So, with much thought and consideration, I've applied to go back to school to do that! I'm excited about the whole thing, and already passed the first of two entrance exams. The next test is the NET test (Nurse Entrance Test) that all Hygienist must take. I bought the study guide today and was told that I need to make a competitive score to get one of only 24 seats available in the class. When it's all said and done, I should be done with school by November 2011, and ready to take the state board exams.. one of which I already have taken for x-rays, the radiology exam, which I am already licensed to do in TN. Also, recently approved by the state, dental hygienist are now able to get a license to give oral anesthesia as well. Apparently we students will practice giving oral shots to each other to get practice! AHHH! ;)That's one part of school that I would rather skip, but it will be great to have that under my belt when I apply for a job once I have my license to practice! Anyway, I am super pumped up about it, and keeping my fingers crossed for some good ole' gov't grants to help me out with tuition costs. When school is over, I will be glad I did it, glad I gave my all, and glad to have a job with a salary (roughly 3x what I currently make) that will put a bigger smile on my own face! :D

Music to my ears!

2009-07-30T20:08:00.008-05:00

Aidan and Ethan had a little band going last night, and I took a few quick snap shots of the fun. I am consistently amazed at how well each of them keep a rhythm and believe it is quite possible they have a future with much more music playing and singing ahead of them. Oh and we were singing! Ethan especially, really knows how to use his lungs. I'm sure my neighbors were aware of Aidan and Ethan's music festival as well. :)

Because of the one syllable words, Ethan sings "Doe,ray,me,fa,so,la,ti,doe" really well and REALLY loud. On the last "doe" he holds out his arms and holds out the note like an Opera singer! It's too cute!

Josh Turner - Firecracker

2009-07-25T19:45:00.001-05:00

Yes Sir-ee! I'm a fan of Joshy boy and that amazing deep voice of his! This here is one of my favorite songs he sings. Makes you want to be the firecracker if ya know what I mean! :)

Fun Girls!

2009-07-19T11:49:00.010-05:00

My VERY COOL coworkers!

2009-06-29T20:08:00.007-05:00

And they are very cool- all 13 assistants, treatment/finance coordinators, front desk assistants and even the doctors are hard to beat! I love these people- and it's a good thing I do because we have to put up with each other every day! =) Not everyone was up for pictures today, but a few of the girls from work let me snap some pictures and even gave me a flash of their beautiful pearly whites! =)

Some amazing people!

2009-06-24T23:40:00.003-05:00

Good friends are not hard to find at Living Hope and getting to know the people in my small group has been a blessing. I wish everyone could have made it to Katie's birthday party, but here are some of the people from our small group. We'll have to do a group picture with the whole gang next time the moon and stars align and everyone makes it in one night to group! HAAH! :)

Hide me in Your arms Jesus

2009-06-24T05:25:00.002-05:00

You are my hiding place,
You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance.
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.
I will trust in You.
Let the weak say I am strong in the strength of my Lord.

Too Much Tatt

2009-06-20T10:25:00.007-05:00

I read an article this morning about an 18 year old girl in Kortrijk Belgium, named kimberley Vlaeminck, who walked into a tattoo parlor wanting 3 small stars put on her forehead, and walked out with a whopping 56 stars covering one whole side of her face! The artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, who has his own face covered in tattoos and piercings, said the girl agreed to all 56 stars, but complained that it wasn't what she asked for when her dad saw it for the first time. Kimberley claims that she fell asleep during the procedure and woke up in pain when he was tattooing her nose. There are several things that stand out to me in this story... First of all, I have a tattoo myself. It was done a few years ago on my left hip... and I can tell you, there is no way I could have slept through any of it! The pain was so intense I had to ask the artist to keep talking to me so I could get my mind off of the needle jabs, and still had tears for the entire 16 minutes of the procedure. I do think it could be possible for one to pass out due to pain, and it is possible this is what happened to Kimberley. Second thing, I can not help but notice, the artist himself is covered in tattoos, so what he may see as "subtle" is really, NOT SO SUBTLE! I am not wanting to sound judgemental here- his idea of art and beauty is different from mine, but in my opinion, he over-did-it big time, on himself and on this young girl. She obviously regrets the decision to get a tattoo, or at least her pick of tattoo artists. The artist at the office I went to, was very professional, sanitary, and conservative on his own body art. He went over the procedure and my choice of art several times to make sure we were both on the same page, and offered to do a "trial tattoo" with the tattoo that I wanted in a non-permanent form that would wash off within a couple of weeks. He does this so people can get used to the idea, and be sure they want it to be a permanent part of their body. I guess what I am saying here is that tattoos are a big deal, and to be careful, because even with the research and advancement in tattoo removal procedures- it's a big ordeal to go through, and it might not come all the way off. Any person considering getting a tattoo needs to be confident in their choice of tattoo, placement of tattoo, and most definitely, choice of the artist who will be doing the work! I think it is sad that this girl ended up with something she (nor her family) wanted on such a visible place of her body and hope that she will be able to get it removed. If it can't be removed, I hope she will learn to love the stars and make the most out of her new face... because either way, she is precious to God.

2009-06-08T21:13:00.003-05:00

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently!

splish, splash, snacks, ... and then a nap!

2009-05-30T17:36:00.002-05:00

Summer and John

2009-05-22T22:46:00.008-05:00

Today I want to salute two dear people in my life, Summer Stovall, and John Lee... soon to be married! They've been engaged for a while now, so this post really isn't any sort of announcement or even a congratulations, but more of a tribute. I am so thankful to have met John and Summer and over the past year have grown to love them like family. Summer has a heart of gold and is always thinking of others and truly cares about those around her. John is the same way, with added humor, which makes everyone smile. :) I have watched both of them grow this past year, especially John and it has been quite a thrill to see him open up where he's been planted at our home church, Living Hope. Several months ago Summer, John, his family, and I celebrated and watched with happy tears and camera in hand as he was baptised for the first time. I love Summer so much and remain moved by her love and support for John. Our friendship comes so natural and we've been able to help each other out on several occasions with life circumstances. That's what friends are for, and it is a joy to give and receive so freely with loved ones like these. I can honestly say that I hope to know John and Summer for the rest of my life and I pray our friendship blossoms even more as we grow older. This August I have the privilege of being one of several ladies to stand by Summer as she and John say their wedding vows. Summer will be wearing my former wedding gown, as it is still beautiful and even more so with her in it! We don't have a lot of money for the wedding, but it seems that details are coming together one by one and God is providing for them through several others as well and I know He will continue to do so up to the wedding and after... which is when it's really needed! I don't know of a couple more deserving. If you're reading Summer, John, know that I love you and hope for such a bright future, you'll have to wear shades! ;) ... I also hope for the pitter patter of little baby feet coming from your direction... later of course. :)

An unavoidable ride on the E.R.C.

2009-05-17T22:21:00.012-05:00

It is 10:25 in the evening. I remember seeing this same clock earlier this morning at 6:12 am- the moment I woke up and for some reason I remember this clearly. A whole lot has happened between now and this morning. At 6:30am the emotional roller coaster started clicking it's way up the tracks. I knew it would start because last week Sam reminded me that today he was picking the boys up to take them to Seaside for a week. I am thrilled that they get to see the ocean again, though I have never enjoyed this experience with them (vacations are expensive) Sam and his family take them to Seaside, FL each year. They will have fun, they will be loved, but they will also be missed... which started at 6:30 when I watched them drive off. My morning was peaceful. Laundry, picked up toys, made the beds, took a shower. Talked to Adam for a bit... he was at work but suggested I go spend the day in the sunny out doors. He has already learned that I get a bit depressed when cooped up for days. Off to Shelby farms I went, totally unsuspecting of anything but joggers and families with kites. However, when I arrived there were signs everywhere saying "Memphis friends of Israel festival!" My heart leaped inside my chest! I was so excited because the nation of Israel has a special place in my heart and so do it's people. There was Jewish music, food, and dancing! I had an absolute blast! Bought a flag, the T-shirt and signed up on the mailing list. My enthusiasm was apparently noticed, when a Jewish family there started talking to me. A man named David Kirsch said he was shocked to find out that I wasn't Jewish at the end of our conversation. He said, "Your name is Sarah, you are tan with brown hair, you seem to know a lot about Israel's history, and you looked so moved by the music and dancing." I told him that being mistaken for a Jew was a compliment. I spent the entire afternoon enjoying the atmosphere and teared up as the Rabbi said words of Thankfulness to Memphians for coming out to support Israel. He lives there and said that when the Jewish people go out in public they always look around for "shelter spots" they could run to if needed in time of attack, bombing or shooting. In fact, so happened, the Shelby County Bomb squad and fire trucks were there at the park today. He spoke words of hope, love, joy, and peace. Then we sang and danced- it was like how I picture heaven would be, if I could picture anything close. The older women dancing tickled me pink and we cheered them on. After the festival I went to the Mall to eat and people watch- don't laugh, but I love to people watch. However, today in my observations I witnessed a side of humanity I hate. There were some kids in the food court snickering and making fun of a young man in charge of cleaning tables who clearly had downs syndrome. He was walking slowly around and kept his head down. I sat there for a minute while tears formed in my eyes and asked God why He allows this shit (yes, I used that word in prayer) to happen to innocent people- why he allows people to be disabled, but more so why he allows them to be disabled and humiliated, rejected, and shamed is beyond belief. I thought of my boys growing older and with one more comment from those rich spoiled-ass brats, I was up on my feet. Tears and all, I walked over to them with full intention of yanking the hair out of every head at that table. When I got over there they all looked up at me and I was speechless. High school. I just stared at them for a minute and breathed, then I walked over to the young man cleaning tables. He kept his head down and shrunk back for a second as I approached, but then perked up a bit when I told him he was doing a great job cleaning and that I was proud of him. He looked at me and smiled. His eyes looked like little rainbows. I walked away and cried when I turned the corner... (no, I am not on my period, just haven't cried in a long time and it finally caught up with me all in one day.)But the E.R.C. wasn't over. Momma called at 6:44pm to tell me that my Grandma just died. That's my Momma's Mom and though she was old and getting weaker, it was unexpected and very sad news. I asked Momma if she wanted me to come over and she said not to, she had some things she needed to do and it was getting late. Honestly, I don't believe she wanted to handle it tonight, but she will have to face the memories and this loss again in the morning. I'll miss Grandma Howard, I miss my children, I'm sad for my Mom and I don't see how it's possible to feel so many emotions in one day. To go from happy good morning cuddles, to sad, to content, to thrilled, to angry, to grieved, to lost, and now numb- all in one day. It's 11:00 and I don't really know where I am on the E.R.C. but I know I feel better after writing this and I hope to sleep and wake up ready for tomorrow. Goodnight.

Perspective

2009-05-15T15:55:00.008-05:00

I was thinking about our economy again today... we've been a little slow at work, not seeing near as many new exams as we had hoped for this quarter, and my boss had asked us to draw names to see who would be off work one day of the week for the past three weeks. No body wanted their name in the hat because all of us need to work to pay the bills. I heard rumors that we might be required to be put on rotation and everyone gets cut to a 4 day work week instead of 5, if business doesn't pick up. I was thinking about how "terrible" this would be and quietly flipped out just thinking about it. I went to the bathroom to pull myself together, as I could already picture my checking account digits dropping and my parents giving the "I told you so" speech over my decision to move out during a poor economic status. I let this rumor bother me for the rest of the day, and though I kept my smile on, my boss asked me to his office to see how I was doing. He has never asked me that so I knew my smile wasn't big enough... or maybe it was so big he saw right through it. Either way, I quickly told him I was fine and just feeling a little stressed, but nothing major. I went home that night and let my imagination run wild- in the wrong direction. I pictured our whole city outside in long lines waiting to buy food rations, and handing over my last dollar so that the boys could eat one more time... it was pathetic. Then, right as a tight knot was building in my throat at the thought of my kids going hungry, another emotion much stronger rose up on the inside of me like a good slap in the face. The feeling was basically, "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" I will not let it get that bad! I started forcing my imagination in the other direction. From that spot- spending my last dollar, I pictured what to do from there. Step by step I worked my way back to having something, then having enough and then having plenty, and then realizing that I can not spend precious time fretting over the "what if's" THERE WILL ALWAYS BE TERRIBLE WHAT IF'S! I know about today and I do what needs to be done for today, and when tomorrow comes, I'll do what needs to be done tomorrow, and if I need to adjust or do more, I'll do it. If all the "what if's" beat on the door, I'll beat them back, (there are scriptures to beat them with, aren't there?) and if some "what if's" turn into "what is" then I'll face it head on with all the strength I can muster. One day at a time, one step at a time, one mountain, then the next... And with that good thought in my head, another good one came right after: GIVE! Right now I have enough. Right now I can give of what I have. It might not be much, but I can give what I can when I can. The Lord knows what my kids and I need and He can sustain us if He wants to. I'm hoping and believing that He wants to.

p.s. I found out that rumor came from someone other than the boss.

All Moved!

2009-05-09T07:01:00.009-05:00

Aidan, Ethan, and I are all moved in and all unpacked! I am really pleased with the layout of the apartment and it's plenty of room for us and all of their toys- haha! I had to do some shopping (which is usually not something I enjoy) but I have to say it was fun shopping for this place- especially finding a good vacuum cleaner for only $39 and a really cute monkey bathroom shower curtain and decor for the boys bathroom was a pretty good price at Target. Their bathroom trash can is a smiling monkey holding a banana. And the rug is a huge monkey face. When Aidan saw it for the first time he laughed and said, "George!" I don't think it's meant to be Curious George, but since he was thrilled by the idea, I am too.
My parents came over for Pizza and salad last night. Guess what! My oven works! Everything works in this place! (knock on wood) It's great. I gave the boys the master bed/bath, and I took the second room, which is a little smaller, but has a beautiful vaulted ceiling (hey! Another benefit to a 3rd floor!) and a huge window. The pool opens on Memorial Day and I'm looking forward to taking the kids. I haven't actually showed them the pool yet because we can't get in it.
This weekend I won't have the boys, so I'm getting a few more things organized, and then I'm getting all dolled up (something I definitely haven't done this week) and going out with Adam for our date night!
Yippy Skippy! :)

I'm Moving!

2009-04-24T08:15:00.005-05:00

Well folks, I'm moving to Cordova next week. This is a huge step for me because I have actually never lived on my own before. I married right after high school and then, as most of you know, moved back in with my parents after the divorce to go back to school and get on my feet. My parents have been a huge blessing and though I pay rent here to help out, I feel that the best thing for me to do at this stage of life is to live on my own with the boys for a while, especially before I get married- IF I ever get married... and if I don't, then I need to embrace this eventually anyway. I have no doubt things will be tight financially, but I have always been frugal with money and I believe that the boys and I will make it on our own with God's help. I think the biggest challenge will not be the financial budget challenge however. I think the biggest challenge is being by myself- which is exactly why I need to face it. I have the boys half of the week but the other half I don't. There is work during the day and plenty of work to do at home to keep me busy, but I will be on my own for a good amount of the time. One great thing about the Registry apartments is that they are SO close to Aidan and Ethan's school and daycare. I still have a little ways to drive to work but I would have that drive either way. Oh... and I'm on the third floor (ahhh!) ... that was all that was available. Looks like Ethan is going to get lots of practice going up and down the stairs (he's had trouble with that). Aidan will fly up and down them, and I will be telling him to wait for us, and getting a little more exercise myself- I'm sure. :) Anyway, it seems like a safe apartment complex and our apartment building (see picture above) is close to the pool and playground which is great! Please say a prayer for us as we move and make life's next transition. I have a few praise reports too. A couple of friends have offered to help me move, and Gib, one of our pastors at Living Hope, is giving the boys and I a table and 4 chairs. We didn't have a kitchen table and now we will so that is a big blessing! Well, I'm going to stop typing and go do some much needed packing... I actually enjoy packing. Enjoy your weekend, because the weather is supposed to be really nice. Cheers! ;)

Saturday Morning Pics...a little blurry but still sweet :)

2009-04-18T12:19:00.005-05:00

Happy Easter Everyone!

2009-04-12T14:25:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone is having a good Easter! It's been a quiet weekend, but I've caught up on some much needed sleep. I haven't really put much effort into blogging lately. But I thought I'd post some life updates. First of all, and most importantly, the boys are doing well. They surprise me in little ways all the time by the things they are learning and coming to realize. Ethan is quite the Momma's boy, still wants me to hold him all the time- which I love and soak it up! Aidan gives me hugs and loving but his closeness seems to come when I give him verbal praise. He loves me to watch him do things, or clap when he pronounces something correctly. They are both a sheer joy in my life and i am ever so grateful for them. Secondly, I have a new job. For the past few months I've been working for Dr. Stanley and Dr. Scott Werner. It has been a huge learning experience for me since I arrived, but I love the people I work with and both of the Orthodontist's are good doctors that I would trust my own children's mouth's with... and I honestly couldn't say that about my last employer. It has been a very tough job to learn what I've learned so far, and I still have a long way to go, but I appreciate their dedication to excellence with each patient and I believe in time I will not feel as overwhelmed by the job. Mainly, it's the computer system I am adjusting to that seems the most complicated of my duties. Patient charts are still used but everything, including x-rays has gone digital. I work with 12 other ladies and both doctors, so we are a busy office and very fast paced, which I enjoy. And each day is new and exciting and I never know what I'm going to be dealing with. I am also starting to get to know some of the teenagers (since they come see us to get their braces tightened every month or so) and it is a real blessing to talk with them. And last but not least, there is Adam, a very handsome 36 year old fireman who I've been dating for about a month now. I had been on a few dates here and there before, but just hadn't clicked with anyone in terms of a real relationship. We still need to get to know each other better for sure, but I'm hopeful. He has a son named Sam, who is seven years old, so he already understands the demands of parenthood, which is nice. Anyways... nothing too serious, just thought I'd update my friends and family in case you were interested. ;) May everyone have a great Easter and enjoy the week ahead! Blessings and Love!

They're coming home!

2009-03-21T17:46:00.003-05:00

This past week the boys were on spring break and spent the entire week with their Nana in Tulsa. I miss them terribly, though it has been a very busy week and it went by quite fast. I am so thrilled I get to see them and hug and kiss them tomorrow!!! YEAAAAAAA! (I called Martine this week and she put Aidan on the phone. Without prompting, he said, "MoMo, I lub you." I got a tear or two. My boys love me and boy do I love them back!

2009-03-10T00:42:00.003-05:00

I'm one blessed Momma!

2009-03-09T23:41:00.003-05:00

Aidan has been saying short sentences and Ethan has started repeating sounds if you say, "Do this... Ahhh" or "BaaaBaaa" etc. I am thankful for the therapists who are working to help make communication possible, and thankful to God for two loving, wonderful boys!

ISRAEL LIVES!

2009-02-28T11:39:00.009-06:00

Jesus was not a Christian, Jesus was Jewish. The Christian faith we hold dear is rooted in the theology practiced by the Israelites for thousands of years, and by our Lord and Savior who was Jewish and said "Salvation is of the Jews" and also said, "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill!" (Mat. 5:17). Jesus, referred to as "Rabbi" by followers, and "The King of the Jews" at the time of His death, was born and raised Jewish and fulfilled the word of God as the promised Messiah spoken of by the Prophet Isaiah.
In Matthew 25, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
I found out that the expression, "these brothers of mine" in this verse is a Greek word that refers to "relatives according to the flesh." So Jesus was speaking about the Jewish people when he said, "I was hungry and you didn't give me food. I was thirsty and you didn't give me water, I was naked and you didn't clothe Me." The disciples asked Him, "When did we see you in that condition?" And He responded that it was whenever they saw one of His own in that condition- his relatives. Jesus has compassion for the Jewish people and specifically calls us Gentiles who have been grafted into the Covenant of God, to support them. Also there is a blessing promised in the Bible to all those who honor Israel:
Genesis 12:3 "I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you." ... Remember how Egypt was blessed under Joseph- who helped the Jewish people, but Egypt was cursed under Pharaoh, who made the Jews their slaves... The Jewish people are still alive and well today and one day there will be a reuniting of God's chosen people to Himself when He reveals Himself to them as their Messiah.

I remember driving down the road one day and out of no where, my mouth formed the words, "One day I will dance on the streets of Jerusalem." I have no idea why I said that, but as soon as I said those words, I knew it was the revelation of the Holy Spirit to my heart and it just came right on up out of my mouth! I have since that time developed a special place in my heart for the Jewish people and Israel, and find myself captivated by speakers and books related to the return of Jesus. I also keep note of the persecutions the Jews still face and I am keenly aware of the subtle yet dangerous changes being made in our nation to leave their side. Whether or not the United States stands by Israel in the days ahead, I proclaim here on this little blog that I stand in support of Israel and the Jewish people and I will weep in Joy with them on the day they acknowledge Jesus as their Messiah. (see Zech. 12:10) The Lord has promised to never slumber nor sleep as He watches over Israel, the chosen people of God, who we share our heavenly inheritance with. The Jews have suffered under Haman, Pharaoh, Titus, Constantine, Chrysostom, Ferdinand and Isabella, Muhammad, Luther, Hitler, Khomeini, Saddam Husein, Osama bin Laden, Ahmadinejad ... and many others who attempt to validate their anti-Semetism and slaughter the Lord's elect, but the time is coming when the King of Kings and Lord of Lords will deliver them and be their Savior! Who knows the hour or the day- "Someday," (a song I wrote :)) ...maybe tomorrow, when the church will be raptured and the Lord's remaining people- the Jewish people will find themselves surrounded on all sides in need of deliverance. He has promised to deliver them, and keep them! God's covenant with Abraham was a blood covenant, as was the cross of Christ with us, and God's covenant to the Jewish people is still just as strong as His covenant with the gentiles. His word has not passed away. Jesus, "The King of the Jews," Lives! Israel Lives!

Everything's amazing, nobody's happy

2009-02-26T21:24:00.001-06:00

...Here is a positive (and quite funny) way to look at where we are and where we might be headed... if we experience another crash, maybe we will learn together as a nation to be more thankful for the things we have- like our current freedom, inspiration of ideas, etc.. - and remember back to the basic life, see again what is most important in people... and let go of all that spoils.

A word needed

2009-02-22T20:50:00.004-06:00

I just wanted to pass along a message I heard today at my home church. You can find it free on podcast at www.lhchurch.com

Milton Friedman - Greed

2009-02-11T12:57:00.001-06:00

A good follow up to my last post.

Power Hungry

2009-02-11T08:47:00.029-06:00

I loved my history class in school and I remember a thing or two about governments and how the power hunger of a few took down the freedom, hopes, dreams and actual lives of many. Big government is always presented as it is being presented now, a peaceful pursuit of "progress". Lets go back in history a minute...
In his rise to power, Hitler stated that it gave him great pleasure that the people did not know what was happening to them. Hitler's heinous acts were all made in his efforts to establish the "perfect system"... a one world system, he hoped to be King of. (side note: the other day as President Obama spoke to the people of Indiana, he referred to the White House as "My White House"... how humble!)
Here are a few more quotes from Hitler:
"All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach.”
— Adolf Hitler
"I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.” (THIS IS CALLED MANIPULATION FOLKS)
— Adolf Hitler
He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.”
— Adolf Hitler
Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.”
— Adolf Hitler
And just so you know, Hitler was a vegetarian, pro-abortion, pro-genocide, an advocate for strict gun control, desirous of universal health care, and continually extolling the virtues of state control.

But what does this mean for us? Obama wants to redistribute wealth...Isn't giving to the poor a good thing? And isn't being a person of "peace" a good thing and what's so wrong with appeasing your enemies rather then setting preconditions? Well, for starters, the president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has called for the annihilation of Israel on more than one occasion, and has promised to be the man to do it. In that same breath, Iran is in the process of developing nuclear weapons. (While Obama makes steps to disarm ours) As Ahmadinejad has stated his aim is to annihilate Israel, has the power to give such an order, and is developing the capacity to meet such an end, it is reasonable to take this threat seriously. Appeasing an evil person like this only buys them time to assimilate their gun while you try to chat them out of a decision they've already made to kill their victim. Basically, you're watching them build their gun in front of the victim and tell them all the reasons they shouldn't kill them, and then, they kill the victim and you stand there with nothing else to say. There are approximately six million Jews in Israel today. Does that number sound familiar? Obama’s policy of appeasement has become U.S. policy, so Ahmadinejad might get his wish. "Never again," is the slogan of Holocaust survivors. As Obama enacts this policy, there will be deaths, lots of them. Perhaps then, when an entire nation is wiped off the map with millions dead, people will finally learn that appeasement does not work. But we didn't learn that lesson from Hitler and the first Holocaust?! Holocaust deniers often say: "Hitler never issued an order for the Final Solution." This is true. It was actually the brainchild of one his subordinates. Hitler merely allowed it to happen, and in doing so, was responsible for it. As Obama follows his stated position regarding Iran, he will find himself in a similar position - staring at the annihilation of six million innocent lives and in a self put position to do nothing to stop it.

"The nation was in shambles. A previous ruler had led the country into an unnecessary war, the economy was failing, and a sense of depression filled the air. Then, a new leader emerged. He was a powerful speaker, offering hope, change, and a fix to the economy. He wrote two books about his experiences and used his literary work to propel him to success. He was an open christian with some Muslim friends. He called for unity and considered himself an advocate of peace... his name was Hitler."

President Obama has come to power in the perfect storm.
Americans are being distracted by euphoric hopes for a more green environment and being brainwashed with the unrealistic notion that capitalism is greed and socialism and larger government control is the only solution to end greed help our economy, and bring equality for all. Nonsense! Are the greedy only outside White House Walls? Would you rather the government distribute your wealth to the poor (if that is really where it's going) or would YOU rather distribute your wealth to the poor? And lets see, Has there ever been a BIG government system where this euphoric sense of peace, sharing with the poor, freedom, and hope, etc. actually existed? Nope! The result of Socialist rule, always ends with the plumit of economy, (a very large poor class and large upper government owned class, no middle class)silence and fear of the people vs. voice of the people, wars, genocide, famine, hate, more greed, and eventual tyrant rule.

BIG Government is back, and no matter how many ways you look at it, we as Americans are experiencing the beginnings of BIG GOVERNMENT, BIG SPENDING, and a BIG COLD WAR... or should I say BIG WORLD WAR III...
The Bible says "the borrower is servant to the lender." You can't spend money you don't have, (we don't have 900 billion dollars) and the Bible also says to make peace where it's possible, which means that sometimes it's just not. Many Presidents before this one have tried the appeasement method with Iran, and it didn't work. Who could appease Hitler? Who stopped him from killing 6 million Jews? When we as a nation purposefully plumit ourselves into a debt we can never repay, we are owned, and who owns us? Is it the likes of evil men like Ahmadinejad, who are now making preconditions to talk with us? Evil has always existed in EVERY society but more in some than others, which is exactly why power hungry govrnments will fail us over and over again, because no tyrant can be trusted, no government should have total control of you or your money, be they green friendly or not... because that kind of control will render you powerless in the face of a second Holocaust.

Dave Ramsey Livid Over Obama Stimulus Bill

2009-02-09T21:47:00.001-06:00

Here is Dave's opinion on the Stimulus package. I listen to Dave all the time and trust his opinion and proven ability to truly help people get out of a financial crisis. Listen to what he says!

25 random things

2009-02-03T22:34:00.003-06:00

1. I love the color green and this love of green has somehow been passed down to my youngest son Ethan, who loves green with a passion much deeper than my own.

2. I really enjoy watching people kiss on TV or in movies and I will mentally rate a movie on the believability and passion displayed during the love scene. (LOVED "The Notebook")

3. I get goose bumps talking about anything concerning the return of Jesus.

4. When I walk in a room of people I tend to evaluate moods and gravitate towards those I suspect feel the most uncomfortable. I've done this, according to others, since I was little...

5. One time I was with my Grandma in the grocery store when I was 3 years old and asked an older man if he knew Jesus loved him.

6. I was called a wicked woman, "the cause of Adam's sin," and the "daughter of Jezebel" on a megaphone in front of a crowd of several hundred at the Washington Monument in D.C. This took place right after I told the public speaker and audience that I had actually not come forward to repent, but rather to say "God loves you" to everyone walking by that this man was, by profile observation, name calling. Also stating that it was wrong of him to tell them God hated them for their sin. God hates sin, not the sinner. I was escorted off the premises. :)

7. I still hope that someday there will be a cure for autism or that at least I will be able to communicate better with my two sons who have it.

8. I feel so good inside when I am cuddling or being cuddled.

9. I love really sour pickles! Like face distorting sour!

10. I read "Redeeming Love," 4 times all the way through and periodically read certain chapters again still.

11. My first true crush and sheer excitement over a boy was for the star pilot in the movie, "Iron Eagle"... I was 8 and remember thinking- Wow! I have never felt anything like this before! :)

12. I have been on 13 mission trips and long to go on more some day.

13. I love suspense movies and in depth plots with a mystery to solve! I tend to day dream afterwards that I work for the F.B.I. or something and have some sort of really difficult, special mission to do...that involves a fitted black leather jump suit and special gadgets disguised as facial make up applicators!

14. I change my hair color a lot, and I enjoy the changes.

15. I have never seen a live football game with actual school or college teams playing. My high school didn't have football and I went to community college, thus I never got around to personally witnessing an actual football game. (only TV) I hope to get taken to a football game on a date with my future boyfriend... I have no idea who that would be or when that would happen- but hopefully before I'm 50.

16. I am a sissy at sushi but love the sissy rolls, California and crunchy being my favorites. I am as excited as a kid at Japanese restaurants where they cook the food in front of you! I like to audibly cheer the name of the cook while he does tricks with the flames!

17. Maybe it goes with my F.B.I. wish, but I daily track terrorist activity and find venues on the web to speak out against Islamic supremacist ideologies and acts of violence made under this ideology for the dual purpose of sharing Christ's "love your enemies" ideology and and the ideology and declaration that equality and liberty are essential to human rights and peace.

18. I'm not a big fan of socks and other needless garments.

19. Long, fake nails scare me a little bit when I think about all the yucky microscopic goo that remains in there even after hand washing.

20. I can pack for two weeks using one "carry on" sized back pack and a small purse and have everything I need to maintain good hygiene and appearance. (I took a "packing for missions" class way back and never forgot the art of how to "roll it up tight!")

21. I was on the 700 club (probably never heard of it) to do a testimony reenactment when I was little. I was playing the roll of my mom when she was little, being abused and left alone in dirty conditions.

22. The thought of sharing the Good News of Jesus gets me excited but I never know when it is appropriate. I sometimes imagine that if I knew, for example, that Jesus was coming back next week, this week I would tell every stranger on the street simply out of mercy for their souls.

23. I find huckleberry frappachinos (sure I spelled that wrong) from High Point Coffee, to be the most delicious drink on the planet!

24. I love surprises!

25. I don't believe in the idea that some people are just "always negative." I do believe however, that these people are just HURTING inside.

I'm officially a fan of Kurt Warner!

2009-01-29T10:00:00.006-06:00

Let's face it, I don't know a whole lot about NFL football nor it's players, until it's playoff time and Super Bowl Sunday approaches. Well, it's in just 3 more days and I wanted to give a little promo to the ARIZONA CARDINALS!!!... Mainly for this guy right here, Kurt Warner. This dude is 37, (rock on!) and is married to a beautiful lady named Brenda with whom they have a total of 7 children!!! But the story is what really got me...

Kurt met Brenda in 1992. At that time Brenda was a single mother of two, and one has special needs! (there's hope for me yet! :)) He fell in love and married her, then they had 5 more children of their own! In 2001, Kurt and Brenda started the "First things First" foundation which is a Christ based organization that reaches out to poor kids and hurting families, and seeks to share the love of God while making their dreams come true! Kurt and Brenda work to support single parents, personally host week-long Disney World vacations for children with life threatening illnesses, make frequent visits to children’s hospitals, host Special Olympics clinics, host Thanksgiving dinners for the homeless…the list of projects goes on and on. I'm touched especially with their Disney World project, because it blesses me to know that kids who's families never would've afforded a trip like that, get to have their little dreams come true! ... That and the fact he married a single mother of two- obviously scored big points in my book. Super Bowl Sunday I'm rooting for the Cardinals knowing that a win for the team is going to be a win for even more kid's lives to be touched!!!

The Buddy System

2009-01-27T05:01:00.004-06:00

No body should be without a buddy! One reason I had two kids instead of one, was for the simple fact that I wanted my children to have each other as friends. Since my sons are Autistic and my youngest, Ethan, has more set backs than my eldest, Aidan, they are not able to really play with each other yet. When we go out to public play grounds Ethan is happily in his own little world while Aidan recognizes other children are present and wants to engage in play. I recently shared something with a friend that I want to share here because I wonder how many of us live with similar feelings and wonder if we are alone in them...

The feeling of fear has visited me off and on for different reasons and seasons in my life. Fear of being alone (not like one night, but a lifetime of nights), fear of not being known, the unknown, and fear on behalf of others who fear. The Bible says to not be afraid, and I know this is our command, but we face the temptation daily to not only fear for ourselves, but take on the fears of those around us. Why? Fear is contagious. (More on that later.) Good thing is, Love is contagious too!

And now, our weekend McDonald's trip: I took them to the McDonald's play ground this weekend and a group of girls that Aidan wanted to play with told him to go away, telling him that something was wrong with him and she wanted all the boys to leave. (my boys were the only boys in the room) Aidan seemed oblivious at first but then she kept telling him something was wrong with him and to go away and I saw the hurt on my son's face. He went over and stood by the window. My heart broke. I cried for a minute and then I realized he had turned and was watching me. All of a sudden I decided to ignore the “size” rule for the play ground... I smiled at him and took off up the tubes of the playground and told him to come get me! Within minutes we were playing and having a good time- my hair in an outstretched static ball from the slides, we played. I know I can not always be there for Aidan, and I know he may face ridicule and rejection again, but for every moment I can offer myself I will be his buddy when he has none.

The Bible says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."(1John 4:18) When I remember this verse I remember that God IS love, and He loves me, Aidan, and Ethan. His Love can stand strong in us despite the rejection we face, despite ridicule, despite a seeming loneliness that utters lies of our true state; which is Christ in us, Christ behind us, Christ before us.

"For He has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; What can man do to me?"

He is the Buddy that sticks closer than a brother. And that's the Buddy System. If I impart anything to my children, let it be the Love of God! When it comes down to it, that's everything we need.

Obama vs. Alveda King

2009-01-26T19:32:00.017-06:00

As, you can tell by my last post, I'm a pro-life girl, as I see unborn babies as humans with a God given right to life, as the rest of us. But we currently have a President who made it a top priority in his first few days in office to lift a ban on abortion assistance in other countries. Now we are not just forced to fund the killing of our own, but our tax dollars will now be used to fund the irresponsibility of parents around the world who kill their offspring for convenience. In a time of economic strain, I can think of no more insane way to further the national debt. It's just pathetic! Fortunately, I am not the only one who thinks so. Ms. Alveda King, niece of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (oh yeah!) stood on White House steps with a group of peaceful protesters to beg for the lives of unborn children world wide. Alveda King placed 1,400 flowers in front of the White House Friday, in honor of the estimated 1,400 Black babies that will be slaughtered today thanks to legalized abortion. In a LifeSite News article, King was quoted as saying:

"Over 45 years ago, my Uncle, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote from a Birmingham jail cell that ‘Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.’ Today, there is no greater injustice than that suffered by the 4,000 babies, 1,400 of them black, who die on any given day at the hands of abortionists."

Of course, Alveda had no big stand up against the man now holding the pen of presidency. Her voice didn't make news headlines. And Obama there inside, with one signature, one swipe of the hand- had millions sentenced to death. Think I'm harsh? I'm not the Judge in the end, however I pity our President when the day of Judgement arrives.

Here is, a sister in Christ, a truth speaker, a hero of mine: Alveda King- true to the nature and heart of her Uncle.

May "Freedom Ring" also on the unborn babies with no voice of their own... Sarah Christoph's dream... and one of many.

The irony that the first Black president is also the most pro-abortion president in history could not be more tragic.

LIFE

2009-01-25T23:02:00.002-06:00

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." - Jesus Christ

1. Existing fetal homicide laws make a man guilty of manslaughter if he kills the baby in a mother's womb (except in the case of abortion).

2. Fetal surgery is performed on babies in the womb to save them while another child the same age is being legally destroyed.

3. Babies can sometimes survive on their own at 23 or 24 weeks, but abortion is legal beyond this limit.

4. Living on its own is not the criterion of human personhood, as we know from the use of respirators and dialysis.

5. Size is irrelevant to human personhood, as we know from the difference between a one-week-old and a six-year-old.

6. Developed reasoning powers are not the criterion of personhood, as we know from the capacities of three-month-old babies.

7. Infants in the womb are human beings scientifically by virtue of their genetic make up.

8. Ultrasound has given a stunning window on the womb that shows the unborn at eight weeks sucking his thumb, recoiling from pricking, responding to sound. All the organs are present, the brain is functioning, the heart is pumping, the liver is making blood cells, the kidneys are cleaning fluids, and there is a fingerprint. Virtually all abortions happen later than this date.

9. Justice dictates that when two legitimate rights conflict, the limitation of rights that does the least harm is the most just. Bearing a child for adoption does less harm than killing him.

10. Justice dictates that when either of two people must be inconvenienced or hurt to alleviate their united predicament, the one who bore the greater responsibility for the predicament should bear more of the inconvenience or hurt to alleviate it.

11. Justice dictates that a person may not coerce harm on another person by threatening voluntary harm on themselves.

12. The outcast and the disadvantaged and exploited are to be cared for in a special way, especially those with no voice of their own.

13. What is happening in the womb is the unique person-nurturing work of God, who alone has the right to give and take life.

14. There are countless clinics that offer life and hope to both mother and child (and father and parents), with care of every kind lovingly provided by people who will meet every need they can.

15. Jesus Christ can forgive all sins, and will give all who trusts him the help they need to do everything that life requires.

By: John Piper

Muslim warfar training camps on US soil.

2009-01-22T05:54:00.017-06:00

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has stated that radical Islam "seek to take over governments from North Africa to South Asia to re-establish a caliphate they hope one day will include every continent. They have designed and distributed a map where national borders are erased and replaced by a global extremist Islamic empire." I don't know about you, but I don't want a world ruled by Sharia (Islamic) Law! A world where "infidels" convert to Islam or pay the infidel tax (at best) or get their heads cut off (at worst). This may sound far fetched, but folks, it's happening all over the place. Many stories never reach the news due to fear of more of the same, or a desire to not pin point one religion for violent acts- a focus on being politically "correct". However, of all the religions, Islam is by far the most violent. If you start researching, you'll discover that the numbers and passion of those who follow Allah is rapidly growing and the violence of the some is expanding to the many. The Christian Action Network (CAN:http://www.christianaction.org/) has produced an important new film about the 35 para-military training camps in 22 states in the U.S. and Canada. These camps are sponsored by the terrorist group Jamaat ul-Fuqra (JF) and its notorious Pakistani founder, Sheik Mubarak Ali Gilani. The film is entitled: “Homegrown Jihad: Terrorist Camps Around the U.S. This eye opening video is to be released in Feb. 2009. A preview of the video shows instructors teaching students how to use firearms, scale walls of buildings, and come up behind someone to slice their neck, as well as more clever methods of befriending a man before killing him. These camp grounds have "no trespassing" signs and are guarded by armed men. The premiere of the full length one hour and five minute version of “Homegrown Jihad" is scheduled for February 11th in Washington D.C. The documentary chronicles JF and Sheik Mubarek Ali Gilani's MoA (Muslims of America) terrorist training camps in the US. It exposes their vast criminal activities involving murder, assassinations, weapons smuggling, counterfeiting, drug trafficking and terrorist exploits over nearly three decades. The FBI knows about these camps, but I didn't until recently... did you? Lets spread awareness, protect our freedom of speech by speaking instead of being trapped by fear of imperfect political correctness, fear of slander, or fear of personal attack. The bible says "perfect love casts out all fear." We speak the truth in love. We love because He first loved us. We lift Him up and share His love to our allies and enemies- yes, we love our enemies, and pray for those who persecute us! This is what we do because this is who we are.

Drawing the line

2009-01-16T20:56:00.005-06:00

What I am about to say is very general, but the more I'm aware of the world around me the more I am aware that we all need a Savior, a Prince of Peace, a King, an advocate, a Father. There are two sides to every battle, and where you draw the line on things like tolerance can be hazy at best. People are naturally sinful, we "All fall short of the glory of God." He however never falls short of His glory... so the question for every situation, every battle, every trial, every win every lose in this world is this, "Where is the Lord?" When our lines of communication, peace, love, hope - every thing we do in our own capacity to best live our lives utterly fails, then we look up for the line being drawn down to us. And this is where we draw the line, on a daily basis- our line- our connection to Christ is the only line that matters, the only thing that sustains, gives meaning, gives hope, and makes things like love, joy and peace a reality is Jesus. ...And suddenly I am not confused, and suddenly the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

Awareness

2009-01-16T10:26:00.014-06:00

Here are just some posts, blogs, and videos that I track/view. I am becoming increasingly aware of what is and has been going on in our world and discovering how best to respond as an individual. I really like the way Joel Rosenberg has been responding for example, and you can see his blog here:

http://flashtrafficblog.wordpress.com/

And here are some eye opening videos:

http://www.terrorismawareness.org/what-really-happened/

http://www.jihadwatch.org/ -(not a video, but a good source of info)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1M4eH9Kk7I&eurl=http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Xl68kP4wo&eurl=http://www.frontpagemag.com/Default.aspx

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-871902797772997781

http://www.ushmm.org/

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/

http://www.moonbattery.com/

http://sheikyermami.com/about/

And these are just a few... There is even more info out there for any of you interested. My hope for the end result of the happenings in Gaza and Israel is stated in my comments to a Muslim fellow that was welcome to post his comments under the Fox news report on my previous post. I encourage my friends and any one else out there to see our comments below. What I explained to him is my heart on the matter and my stand for Christ.

A Pakistani Muslim finds Jesus

2009-01-10T08:41:00.002-06:00

I found this Testimony on Testimony Share, a great web site, by the way! This one really stands out to me as a reminder that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and He still works miracles!

This testimony was sent by Azali, who is from the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Azali was an ardent follower of Mohammed until the seeing the results of a challenge he laid out before some Christian students. The testimony describes how this man was converted to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.
And He said unto them: “Go into the world, and preach the gospel to every Creature.” (Mark 16:15)
When I was 14 years old I was studying in a convent school at Saddar Karachi Pakistan. I belonged to a Muslim family. My parents forced me to learn the Qur’an by heart when I was seven and so I did. I had a lot of Christian fellows (or acquaintances) at school.
I was surprised to see them studying while I always found Christians of low profile in the society. I discussed and argued a lot with them about the accuracy of Qur’an and rejection of Bible by Allah in Holy Qur’an. I always forced them to accept Islam. Often my Christian teacher told me not to do so. He said, “God may choose you as he chose the Apostle Paul.” I asked them who is Paul, I know Muhammad only.One day during our discussion I challenged them to burn the Holy Books of each other. They should burn the Qur’an and I should do the same with the Bible. We agreed: “The book which would burn, would be false. The book, which would not burn, has the Truth in it. God Himself would save His Word.” Unfortunately they were not ready to do this because they were frightened. Living in an Islamic Country and doing such a thing could lead them to face the law and meet its consequences. I told them I could do this by myself.
First I set the Qur’an on fire and it got burnt before our eyes. Then I tried to do the same with the Bible. As soon as I tried it, the Bible struck my chest and I fell on the ground. There was smoke all around my body. I was burning, but from a spiritual fire.
Suddenly I saw a man with golden hair, wrapped in light on my side. He placed his hand on my head and said to me “You are my son and from now on you will preach the Gospel in your nation. Go! Your Lord is with you.”
Then I saw the stone on the grave, which was removed. Mariam Magdalene spoke to the gardener who probably took the body of my Lord. The gardener was Jesus Himself. He kissed the hand of Mariam and I woke up. I felt very strong as if when someone would strike me, I could not be hurt.
I went home and I told my parents about all what happened. But they did not believe it. They thought that the Christians got me under magic, but I told them that all this happened before my very own eyes and that many people were watching this. They still did not believe and they turned me out of my home and refused to accept me as their family member.
I went to a Church close to my home; I told the Father there all about what happened. I asked him to show me the Bible. He gave me one and I read about the event of Mariam Magdalene and I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior on 02-17-85.
My Family refused to accept me. I went to various churches and got more knowledge about the Word of God. I also followed many Bible Courses and then I got a ministry.
Now after 20 years, I have seen many people come to the Lord and accept Jesus Christ as their Savior. Thanks to the Lord, I am now married and have a Christian family. Me and my wife Khadija are involved in the work of the Lord and able to share the miracles God has been doing in our lives.
Even though it is not easy and we face many hardships, we feel like Paul who went through hardships and suffering for the Glory of His Savior, who went Himself through suffering during His walk on earth and on the cross. We thank God the Father for sending His Son to this earth and giving us free life through Him.

Praise Jesus for Mosab Hassan!

2009-01-02T11:46:00.003-06:00

Mosab Hassan Yousef, 30, said that his decision to abandon his Muslim faith and denounce his father's organisation had exposed his family to persecution in his home town of Ramallah and endangered his own life.
But despite the cost, Mr Yousef told The Daily Telegraph that he is convinced that speaking out about the problems of Islam and the "evil" he witnessed back home would help to address the "messed-up situation" in the Middle East and one day bring about peace and enable him to return.
"I'm not afraid of them, especially as I know that I'm doing the right thing, and I don't see them as my enemies," he said. "I do think about this a lot. But what are they going to do? Are they going to kill me?
"If they want to kill me, let them do it. I'm not going to stop anyone. It's going to be my freedom.
"My soul's going to be free of my body, not flesh any more."
Mr Yousef, who is known as Joseph by friends at the Barabbas Road church in San Diego, California, arrived in America 18 months ago but only recently made "the biggest decision of my life" to go public with his conversion to draw attention to how the Palestinian leadership is "misleading" and exploiting its people.
"Palestinians look really ugly in front of everybody in the world and they are very, very good people ... they are misled, and their picture is very dark because of this leadership.
"They need some help, they need people to stop lying to them, and lying to the world."
Mr Yousef was raised as a Muslim by his politically powerful family. His father, Hassan Yousef, a highly respected sheikh born in the West Bank town of al-Ghaniya near Ramallah, is a founding member of Hamas, whose military wing has instigated dozens of suicide bombings and other attacks against Israel since it was formed in 1987.
Hamas now governs the Gaza strip after ousting the more moderate Palestinian Authority led by Mahmoud Abbas, whose administration now only controls the West Bank.
Mr Yousef said that the decision to leave the home he loves and his family including five brothers and two sisters had made life hard for them.
"They are definitely suffering because of what I've done," he said. "They are not a regular family, they are a very famous family, and Muslims around the world praise my family, praise my father. So when I came with a step like this, it was impossible to think about, it was crazy.
"I knew from the beginning my family would face an impossible situation. It wasn't their choice but they have had to carry it with me. It's difficult for my mother, she's crying all day long. Every time I talk to her, she's crying."
His mother, Salsabin, told The Daily Telegraph that she and her children were "in daily contact with Mosab" but she declined to comment further on his new life.
Mr Yousef said that his father, who has spent more than a decade in Israeli jails for his involvement with Hamas, was in prison when he "got the worst news in his life" - that his son had become a Christian and left Ramallah. "But at the same time he sent me a message of love.
"Everybody is asking him to disown me. You understand if he disowns me he will give terrorists a chance to kill me. "He loves me as a son and he believes that what I've done was something I believed in, but at the same time it's very difficult for him to understand and he won't be able to understand."
Many saw him as heir apparent to his father, who retains great influence both within Hamas and in Palestinian society, winning election to the Palestinian Legislative Council in January 2006 from his prison cell.
But Mr Yousef said that his questioning of Islam and Hamas began early. His father, a pragmatist who has even suggested Hamas would be willing to talk to Israel under certain conditions, would often accept his concerns, such as the targeting of civilians.
Mr Yousef said that his doubts about Islam and Hamas crystallised when he realised not all Hamas leaders were like his father, a moderate who he describes as "open-minded, very humble and honest".
Mr Yousef said that he was appalled by the brutality of the movement, including the suicide bombers seeking glory through jihad.
"Hamas, they are using civilians' lives, they are using children, they are using the suffering of people every day to achieve their goals. And this is what I hate," he said.
It was after a chance encounter nine years ago with a British missionary that Mr Yousef began exploring Christianity.
He found it "exciting", he said, and began secretly studying the Bible, struck by the central tenet "love your enemies".
Nevertheless he does not advocate the "collapse of Islam", but rather for people to acknowledge that after 1,400 years "it's not working any more".
He said: "It's not taking them anywhere. It's making them look ugly."
He hopes that Muslims will begin to question their religion and "fix it" by rejecting the parts that call for "killing others, cutting hands, cutting legs, torturing people and asking for destruction of entire civilisations".
He said that after he converted to Christianity, he decided he had to escape and "live my life away from violence because I couldn't coexist with that situation as a Christian."
"I was thinking, what is my responsibility now? To see people dying every day or to stand up and say, this is wrong, this is right and be strong about this? So I had to make this move."
He plans to write a memoir about his "transformation" that he hopes will inspire others and to found an international organisation to educate young people about Islam and preach a message of "forgiveness", the only way he thinks "the endless circle of violence" between Israelis and Palestinians can be broken.
"I know this take a longer time, but this is the right way to do it, to build a new generation, a new generation who understand how to forgive, how to love."
It is a vision his new church shares. In a posting on the Barabbas Road website entitled "Joseph's story", the most unlikely member of the congregation is described as "a miracle" who left a society steeped in "brutal and bloody warfare" and instead "turned to Jesus".
"He is most certainly the face of things to come; an Ambassador to those oppressed by Islam. He is passionate about liberating his brothers and sisters from the darkness of a false religion, and living the truth that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Light."
Back in the West Bank, however, many are distressed about his move.
"It is upsetting not only to his community and to his family but to all Muslims," said Abdel-Jaber Fuqaha, an Islamist parliamentarian and friend of the family who described Mr Yousef as "a straightforward, observant Muslim".
"But the worst impact is on his family, and his father. This is a thing that is more unique to our Middle Eastern culture. It is the most difficult thing, to convert from one religion to another."
He suggested that Mr Yousef may have been pressured into conversion in exchange for financial help or permission to stay in the US, given his background - allegations Mr Yousef rejects.
"I didn't come to Christianity for money, I came to Christianity because this is the way we can live a better life," he said.
"I love my people. They have the right to live like any other nation on Earth. But at the same time, I want to help them [get] on the right track."

By Catherine Elsworth in Los Angeles and Carolynne Wheeler in Ramallah

FOXNews.com - Escape From Hamas - Specials

2009-01-02T11:24:00.001-06:00

FOXNews.com - Escape From Hamas - Specials

For some time now, my Dad and I have been following some research on Jihad radical Muslim movements and it's impact on Christians, Jews, Homosexuals, and all who will not convert to Islam. I recently removed a video called "FITNA" from my blog due to unusual visits from Iran, Indonesia, and the Philippines, on my site meter shortly following. The man who will be on Fox news tomorrow night at 10pm has given me courage to once again speak up about the danger to our freedom of speech as Americans and especially as Christians who believe that Jesus (the author of Peace) is the Lord! I will not be silent in fear and I will be posting much more in days to come. Everyone, please watch the interview! We are to be awake in these last days and praying for Israel as well as our enemies who seek to abolish the name of Jesus and silence the voice of freedom.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T10:07:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas to Everyone! :)

My Wedding Invitation...

2008-12-24T09:00:00.007-06:00

...Just kidding! It's not mine, though I wouldn't have put it past my ex-father-in-law. Thanks to my e-friend Julie, I got a good laugh, and just had to share it! If you're having trouble reading the small print, click on the wedding invitation.

A John the Baptist kind of Love

2008-12-21T22:32:00.008-06:00

I remember as a young teenager sitting in the adult service at Victory Christian Center in Tulsa, OK, and hearing Pastor Billy Joe Daugherty tell sort of a parable that to this day makes the Evangelical side of me want to hop in my car, drive to the nearest public location with a mega phone, and quote John 3:16 or something. Anyways... here's the just of what he said:
Say you're driving down the road one night and it's so dark the only light shinning are the headlights from your car. As your lights shine ahead, you notice a bridge crossing sign off to your right. You slow up a bit, just out of a feeling that maybe you should, and soon you begin crossing the bridge. The lake below is pretty far down and you realize how high up you are! It's an old bridge but looks pretty solid and plenty wide. All of the sudden you slam on the brakes as you see ahead that the bridge is broken in half and there's nothing to stop you from going clear off the edge, which you almost do. After coming to a complete halt , you get out and see that you were just a foot away from death! Wheew! Back in the car now, you put yourself in reverse and get off the bridge as fast as possible. Now that you're going the other direction, you're feeling pretty good- so thankful to be alive, you say a prayer to God and try to relax. Soon you see a faint light up ahead coming towards you, It's another car- and it's headed in the wrong direction- straight towards that bridge! You have options now... Let them figure it out for themselves, ignore the other car- not your problem. Or, you could stop and try to block the road, flag them down, do anything, do whatever it takes even, to get their attention and tell them they're going the wrong way and headed for destruction.
The follow up of the story is that we all have to acknowledge that the good news is so good because it saves us from the inevitable spiritual death and separation from God that those who don't have Him will experience if they don't turn the other way. It is out of great love that John the Baptist said, "Repent, for the Kingdom of heaven is at hand." When we tell non believers that we are all deserving of death and Jesus came so we can have life, but we must choose that Life- that is Loving! Those who don't have the Lord will experience the great punishment - something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy if I had one.
On the flip side... I want to share an experience with you that I had in D.C. about 6 years ago. I was with Sam walking around the Washington Monument, when we heard a man yelling at people from a homemade pulpit, Bible in hand, shouting, "God hates you evil sinners, and you're all going to Hell if you don't repent!" He was pointing to random people waiting to go up the monument and yelling at them, calling them whores and thieves, snakes, foul smelling waste, and all kinds of wicked obscenities." With my face beat red, I pre-apologised to Sam for the embarrassment I was about to cause him. I made my way up to the pulpit and asked the man if I could speak with him privately. A group from his team began to move in closer to see if I had come forward to give my life to Christ... um, no. When the preacher gave me his ear, I told him - as close to his microphone as I could manage, that God loves these people! He hates sin but loves the sinner, I went on to tell him that he should not call people names, knowing nothing about them or their lives. Then I turned to the crowd and shouted, "Jesus loves you and He died to take away your sin so you can have life!" Immediately this man put the microphone to his mouth, got right up in my face and said,
"You evil daughter of Jezebel, you dirty woman who caused Adam to sin, you will burn in hell with the rest of those who belong to Satan." (No, I am not kidding) Then I was grabbed by several men and brought away from the crowd so that demons could be driven out of me. ... Finally, getting a little worried, Sam came over to see if I was OK, and they pulled him off to the side to talk to him as well. When we were able to walk away I yelled once more, "Jesus LOVES you!" as loud as I possibly could. I'll never forget that day. Part of me was glad that someone would have the guts to remind people that there's a hell, but I was outraged that my Jesus was being portrayed as a hater of sinners! Quite the opposite... or He wouldn't have died so painfully on our behalf.
How we tell others the good news is important, but pretty simple. If we know and say the words of Jesus- we can not go wrong. May we not misinterpret His life, His truth, His salvation, or His love! How can we as sinners saved by grace misinterpret true love once we've experienced it? We must keep returning our eyes to the word of God and be faithful to proclaim it with courage like John the Baptist, knowing and showing that, "It is the LOVE of God that draws man to repentance."

The beauty of being single when you belong to Christ...

2008-12-19T12:49:00.010-06:00

Here's what John Piper had to say about being (staying) single. For obvious reason, this was interesting and valuable to me.

-The family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;
-Relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case); -Marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
-Faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

Take heed here lest you minimize what I am saying and do not hear how radical it really is. I am not sentimentalizing singleness to make the unmarried feel good. I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over against the eternal and primary nature of the church. Marriage and family are temporary for this age; the church is forever. I am declaring the radical biblical truth that being in a human family is no sign of eternal blessing, but being in God’s family means being eternally blessed. Relationships based on family are temporary. Relationships based on union with Christ are eternal. Marriage is a temporary institution, but what it stands for lasts forever. “In the resurrection,” Jesus said, “they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30).
And when his own mother and brothers asked to see him, Jesus said, “‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers!’” (Matthew 12:48-49). Jesus is turning everything around. Yes, he loved his mother and his brothers. But those are all natural and temporary relationships. He did not come into the world to focus on that. He came into the world to call out a people for his name from all the families into a new family where single people in Christ are full-fledged family members on a par with all others, bearing fruit for God and becoming mothers and fathers of the eternal kind.
“Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!” a woman cried out to Jesus. And he turned and said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Luke 11:27). The mother of God is the obedient Christian—married or single! Take a deep breath and reorder your world.
“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel,” Jesus said, “who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:29-30). Single person, married person, do you want children, mothers, brothers, sisters, lands? Renounce the primacy of your natural relationships and follow Jesus into the fellowship of the people of God.

What shall we say then in view this great biblical vision of the secondary and temporary nature of marriage and procreation? We will say what Jesus and Paul said. Jesus said in Matthew 19:12, “There are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” We need not take this (“made themselves eunuchs”) to mean any kind of physical sterilization any more than we take Jesus’ words “tear out your right eye” to mean physically blinding ourselves. But it does mean that Jesus approves that some of his followers renounce marriage and sexual activity for the sake of serving Christ’s kingdom. “Let him who is able to receive this receive it.”
That is what Paul chose for himself and what he encouraged others to consider in 1 Corinthians 7. “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. . . . I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife . . . . I say this . . . to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:8, 32-33, 35). In other words, some are called to be “eunuchs” for the kingdom of God. Paul speaks about each having his own gift: “one of one kind, one of another” (1 Corinthians 7:7). In other words, “Let him who is able to receive this receive it.”
God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children.
If someone asks, wouldn’t it be better to have both? The blessings of marriage and the blessings of heaven? There are two answers to that question. One is that you will find out someday, and better to learn it now, that the blessings of being with Christ in heaven, are so far superior to the blessings of being married and raising children and that asking this question will be like asking: Wouldn’t it be better to have the ocean and the thimble full? And the second answer is that marriage and singleness both present us with unique trials and unique opportunities for our sanctification. There will be unique rewards for each, and which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each.
So I say it again to all singles in Christ: God promises you blessings in the age to come that are better than the blessings of marriage and children.
And with this promise there comes a unique calling and a unique responsibility. It is not a calling to extend irresponsible adolescence into your thirties. It is a calling to do what only single men and women in Christ can do in this world, namely, to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage. As long as you are single, this is your calling: to so live for Christ as to make it clearer to the world and to the church
That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;
That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families;
That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
And that faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.
To him be glory in the Christ-exalting drama of marriage and the Christ-exalting drama of the single life. Amen

What a good verse!

2008-12-14T23:45:00.005-06:00

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

Nothing is certain, nothing is stable, nothing is solid, nothing secure, nothing balanced, nothing wise or good apart from the Lord. No thought in my brain, nor plan nor dream, no direction is clear or hopeful, apart from the Lord.

My prayer tonight:

Lord, we know nothing is good apart from you, we can make nothing good of our lives on our own. We need your help to be good children, good men and women, good moms and dads, good neighbors, good workers, good leaders, good and faithful servants. Jesus, help us to make decisions that honor You, let our lives reflect Yours as much as possible. We know we are weak and stupid; sheep who need a shepherd. Guide us and prompt us in Your ways and let our lives give out the very same pure love that You've given us.

Amen

Comment problem fixed...kinda sorta :)

2008-12-06T10:54:00.002-06:00

For those of you who have not been able to post your comments before now, I think I have figured out the problem. If you don't have a URL, etc. you can post under Anonymous and then before you post hit the "preview" button. Once you've previewed your comment, hit post and it works. Remember you can still tell me who you are in your comment and then post under Anonymous if you don't fit the other categories. Sorry for any inconvenience... still learning how to use Blogger. :)

Ingida Asfaw - Volvo for life Awards Documentary

2008-12-05T08:22:00.001-06:00

"Give honor where honor is due." Dr. Asfaw, we greatly respect and value the work you've done to help the helpless. Praise God for men like you!

Blog Comment Problems

2008-12-03T19:16:00.002-06:00

Hello everybody... I have received several emails this month saying that some of you tried to post a comment and could not post one for some reason or another. If you are someone who has been able to post and are familiar with problems of this sort.. could you leave a comment below on what might be the problem and how I go about fixing it? I have tried different things and still can not figure out why some people can post and some people can not. Anyway, any suggestions are greatly appreciated! Thanks. Also, feel free to email me if you want at sarahchristoph81@gmail.com Thanks!

Lollipop Piano Cover By David Sides

2008-11-30T01:37:00.001-06:00

Maybe you know the original song, maybe you don't- but hearing it like this is just beautiful! ...just sayin.

Rescue Children - Compassion International

2008-11-28T09:57:00.001-06:00

So many reasons to be thankful!

2008-11-27T17:50:00.020-06:00

I am thankful for many things this year...

I'm thankful to the Lord for loving me, teaching me, and helping me through this life; for my children, family, friends, my brothers and sisters at Living Hope, and our new puppy. I'm thankful for His grace and His rod- I need them both. I'm thankful for the pain He allows to give me a deeper understanding of my need for Him each day and the comfort and joy that comes when I let go of my will and trust in Him for all the unknown and unanswered. He has sustained me and He is worthy of my praise this Thanksgiving day and every day.

Our new family member!

2008-11-22T11:52:00.017-06:00

We've got a new family member! Her name is Jodi Jolene, "JoJo" for short. The boys are thrilled and so are we! She is a beautiful and very sweet Labrador. She is eight weeks old and already grown quite a bit! We bought her yesterday and surprised the boys after school. Here are some picks we took of her this morning. Pardon our "bed head" hair and squinting eyes, as we literally just woke up and took pictures. Isn't she a pretty girl! Seriously- this puppy is precious! Welcome to the family JoJo! (Aidan is already saying her name!) Yay God! :)

2nd post on Milgram Experiment (video)

2008-11-15T11:43:00.001-06:00

1st post on Milgram Experiment (Derren Brown)

2008-11-15T11:00:00.013-06:00

The Milgram experiment was a series of social psychology experiments conducted by Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram which measured the willingness of study participants to obey an authority figure who instructed them to perform acts that conflicted with their personal conscience. Milgram first described his research in 1963 in an article published in the Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, and later discussed his findings in greater depth in his 1974 book, Obedience to Authority: An Experimental View.

The experiments began in July 1961, three months after the start of the trial of Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann in Jerusalem. Milgram devised the experiments to answer this question: "Could it be that Eichmann and his million accomplices in the Holocaust were just following orders? Could we call them all accomplices?"

Milgram summarized the experiment in his 1974 article, "The Perils of Obedience", writing:
"The legal and philosophic aspects of obedience are of enormous importance, but they say very little about how most people behave in concrete situations. I set up a simple experiment at Yale University to test how much pain an ordinary citizen would inflict on another person simply because he was ordered to by an experimental scientist. Stark authority was pitted against the subjects' participants' strongest moral imperatives against hurting others, and, with the subjects' participants' ears ringing with the screams of the victims, authority won more often than not. The extreme willingness of adults to go to almost any lengths on the command of an authority constitutes the chief finding of the study and the fact most urgently demanding explanation.
Ordinary people, simply doing their jobs, and without any particular hostility on their part, can become agents in a terrible destructive process. Moreover, even when the destructive effects of their work become patently clear, and they are asked to carry out actions incompatible with fundamental standards of morality, relatively few people have the resources needed to resist authority."

Above is a replica experiment done by Darren Brown in the UK. The results are strikingly similar to the results of the 1961 experiment by Milgram. This begs me to ask myself the question, "How far would I go in obeying authority despite my inner convictions?" For believers in Christ - our submission to earthly authority must be weighed and obeyed only to the extent that it affords our primary obedience to Christ, in my opinion... but this is not always a clear cut knowledge, and there are gray areas in most issues... this is when obeying the still small voice of the Holy Spirit in us is of dire importance. See video above...

Turn with Me

2008-11-14T09:14:00.008-06:00

O soul are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There's light for a look at the Saviour,
And life more abundant and free.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face;
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion
For more than conquerors we are!

His word shall not fail you He promised;
Believe Him and all will be well.
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

I will turn my eyes upon Jesus,
I'll look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

This was (and still is) one of my favorite songs.
Some times I have to remind my self that I'm not alone in my labor and responsibilities, decisions and obstacles, nor am I alone in my loneliness- because Jesus is alive and here and is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He has promised never to leave us nor forsake us- a promise for all who belong to the Lord! I believe that fixing our eyes on Jesus is the only way to handle anything we face, no matter what we face. I'm facing a lot of decisions regarding everything from my children's education plan, to work related issues, to my day to day mission for Christ- trying to seek out what my part is and find opportunities to serve as His friend. I must be honest and say that I don't know all the right answers to these issues in my life but I do believe that Jesus is more concerned with my focus being on Him rather than my abilities (or lack thereof) to properly handle the weights of x, y, and z. So today I am carrying this song in my heart as a prayer to the Lord, that my spirit would acknowledge the power that is in Christ- and that I would have a deeper understanding of Him as I focus on Him. Without Him, there is nothing- No way, no truth, no life, because He IS the way, the truth , the life.

*Good News Reminder!* We don't have to have it all figured out or do it all perfectly! Let's face it- we don't. :) Just obey one step He gives you at a time, and don't let anyone drag you by the hair through their theology or try to steal your joy... look full in the face of Love and know you are loved, know you are capable of anything through Christ (phil 4:13) who's joy is your strength. ... The same Christ who says you can do all things will surely lead you into all the things He wants you to do!

YAY Elizabeth Elliot!

2008-11-11T21:48:00.004-06:00

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Elizabeth Elliot, (an author I admire):

"God is God. Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to." -Elizabeth Elliot

"If my life is surrendered to God, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hands but would be safer in mine!"
- Elizabeth Elliot

"Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His Lordship."
- Elizabeth Elliot

"Holiness has never been the driving force of the majority. It is however, mandatory for anyone who wants to enter the Kingdom."- Elizabeth Elliot

The List...

2008-11-10T19:58:00.015-06:00

I know I'm going to think of more things later... but for now, here's some things I'd like to do that I've never done:

1. Go to a football game!- An actual league playing league in uniform!!! Never been. My school didn't offer football. (At this point I'm holding out on purpose for a special occasion.)
2. Take my kids on a vacation.
3. Do pottery (A desire I've had since the movie, "Ghost")
4. Go to Europe (...we're dreaming now)
5. Go on a sail boat (I've been in a boat- but not a sail boat- those things look amazing!)
6. Go with a group of family and/or friends to spend a Christmas on Skid Row.
7. Go on a dangerous "smuggle bibles" mission trip.
8. Have a candle light dinner on the roof of a building with a beautiful view. (from my romantic side)
9. Go deep sea fishing and catch something big!
10. Go on a road trip with good friends and good music.
11. Go to Jerusalem.
12. Help build something- like a house or church for a people group in need ( I actually have gotten to do this before- but really want to do it again- it's fun!)

* Quick story- one of my favorite memories... mission trip to Guatemala orphanage. The directors of the children's home asked if our team would help the kids paint murals in each room of the school house and dorms, build concrete stairs for the entrance, and use machetes to clear all the bush around the back for a soccer field. It took all week and we worked side by side with their local church- one of the best weeks ever!

So, what's YOUR list??? Think about it- write it down even- it's fun! ;-)

Anniversary of Martin Luther

2008-11-10T13:47:00.008-06:00

Found this on John Piper's blog... thought I'd pass it along... and I added a few comments of my own below in red.

It was a backwater German town called Eisleben on November 10, 1483—today marks 525 years. There Martin Luther had his inauspicious beginning. He was born a poor boy, son of a coal miner. And by a strange providence, Luther died in the same town 62 years later on February 18, 1546, even though he spent barely any of his life there. In the intervening 6 decades, the world changed—and Luther, under God, was the chief catalyst. The pope excommunicated Luther in January of 1521, making him a marked man. For the last 25 years of his life, he lived with the awareness that each day could be his last. He often expressed surprise that he was still alive. To the left is a 1526 painting by Lucas Cranach, which may be the most authentic portrait we have of Luther. And, so that you can join us in celebrating Luther's 525th, below is a timeline of his life, highlighting some of the most significant events of his 62 years.

Thank God for Luther—simultaneously righteous and sinful.

Timeline of Luther's Life 1483, November 10 - Born to Hans and Margaretta Luther in Eisleben 1484, Summer - Luther family moves to Mansfeld
1501, May - Enters university at Erfurt (age 17)
1502, September 29 - Receives Bachelor of Arts (age 18) (received a degree in a yr.- nice!)
1505, January 7 - Receives Master of Arts (age 21)
1505, July 2 - Vows to become a monk (something I could never do)
1505, July 17 - Enters the monastery in Erfurt
1507, May 2 - Celebrates his first mass as a priest (age 23)
1510, November - Journeys to Rome and is disturbed by its corruption (age 26) (cool- a righteous rebel in the making always starts with being disturbed at how things are.)
1511, April - Transferred to Wittenberg to teach at the university
1512, October 19 - Receives his Doctor of Theology (age 28)
1517, October 31 - Posts his 95 theses (age 33)
1518, April 26 - Defends his theology at Heidelberg
1519, July - Debates prominent theologian John Eck at Leipzig
1520 - Publishes Address to German Nobility, Babylonian Captivity, and Freedom of the Christian; breach with Rome now irreparable
1521, January - Excommunicated by the pope (age 37) (ouch!)
1521, April 18 - Gives "Here I stand" response to the emperor at the Diet of Worms
1521, May - Kidnapped and hidden at Wartburg to preserve his life; begins translating the New Testament into German
1522, March - Returns to Wittenberg to lead the Reformation
1522, September - Publishes his German New Testament
1524, November 30 - Writes that he has no intention to marry (...right.)
1525, June 13 - Marries escaped nun Katherine von Bora (age 41) (haah! -love it!)
1525, December - Responds to Erasmus' Freedom of the Will with The Bondage of the Will (which J. I. Packer calls "the greatest piece to come from Luther's pen")
1527, Summer - Composes "A Mighty Fortress" during a season of sickness and deep depression
1529, October - Meets Zwingli at Marburg and is unable to come to agreement on the Lord's Supper
1534 - Publishes the complete German Bible (age 50) (sweet deal for Germans)
1546, February 18 - Dies while traveling in Eisleben (age 62)

What a life!

Overwhelmed by goodness.

2008-11-09T17:32:00.005-06:00

I was in church this morning- something I look forward to weekly and after yet another amazing message from the Lord through Gib, we took communion and sang to God. I was touched so deeply because I was reminded by the Holy Spirit how far God has brought me out of the depths of darkness. I had to leave my chair and go to the very back and just kneel down on the ground and say a prayer of thankfulness. I was so overwhelmed and felt God's presence so strongly that all I could do was kneel in amazement and say thank you. Jesus is so good! I remember quite well what it was like to be far from Him and the despair I felt living life on my own. Just being with a group of people who understand this and have lived it too- being with people who realize the value of the cross, and being able to worship God together and give Him the glory for this- it floors me. My heart is heavy still, but not from sadness, instead it is heavy from the weight of love and joy and peace- all His graces- and just a thankfulness to God for saving a wretch like me. ... And a wretch like you! ;-)

Christmas Lights!

2008-11-05T12:29:00.006-06:00

I know it is still early in the game to be thinking about this... but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas Lights and every year I look forward to seeing lights all over the city. It's so beautiful to me- just makes me happy and giddy inside. I hope to put lights up when I have a home of my own. I really like having lights up inside too, and turning the lamps off- it changes the atmosphere of a room in an instant! So I encourage all to put up a few Christmas lights- or a lot, if you wish.
Also- instead of giving each other store bought gifts this year, maybe consider to give donations towards a cause or organization (like buying Christmas dinners for the homeless, sponsoring a child, etc...) in that person's honor. And if family members ask you what you'd like for Christmas- maybe consider asking for them to give towards a cause of your choice! I'm excited just thinking about it. Man I love Christmas

and all the joys of being with friends and family, and yes- strangers too! Thanksgiving is also great! :-)

How to Love... for Dummies

2008-11-03T21:21:00.007-06:00

Anybody else read the "How to...(fill in the blank)... for Dummies" books? I kind of think that 1 Corinthians 13 is the "How to love" for dummies. I have a major in dumbness when it comes to the infinite knowledge of God and still a dummy when compared to theologians, pastors, and teachers of God's word... but somehow this chapter gives the impression that even a dummy such as myself can learn, and practice, and BE, LOVING. This is my deepest hearts desire - to live my life loving. I might fail at this sometimes, but I keep striving for it and looking into it deeper, so I don't turn away or forget what Jesus did for us.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

This is such a great chapter... I LOVE it! ;-) I love it because it simply shows the way we are to live... And if you know me, you know how much I need and appreciate directions! This passage, to me, is the "HOW" of all hows. My personal favorite line from above is, "Love never fails." And then that last line, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is Love." I'm inspired in reading the contrast of things that "will pass" and the things that will remain; noting that the things that will pass are not bad things- just not eternal things. Since my goal (as well as yours I'm sure) is to live a life that seeks the good of others for their entire existence/eternity- the words here give a clear perspective of what matters and how we live in a way that matters.

How do we treat people with disabilities?

2008-10-31T08:39:00.013-05:00

Within the past few years, my kids were both diagnosed with Autism- specifically, a cognitive learning delay, speech and language delay. Over the past 5 years I have watched my son Aidan struggle to communicate and understand, but he is learning more, slowly but surely, making progress, praise God! Ethan, my youngest (3 yrs old) still isn't speaking in words, but doesn't seem to realize that he is different from other kids yet. Aidan knows he is different. Sometimes adults who don't realize his situation come up and ask him his name or a question he can not answer... he used to start slapping himself when he would get frustrated that he could not give an answer, now he looks away or just puts his head down if he can not answer the question. BUT, there are more and more words he can say, so I try to ask him often certain questions I know that he will be able to answer. I see the joy come on his face. I've learned to compensate for the hard questions. For instance, I want him to try to use new words, so I might ask him to say something he can already say, then ask him something new, then ask him something he can already say again. (the sandwich method) I do this for his self-esteem and I'm seeing progress. He is starting to believe in himself more and it's a joy to hear him try to repeat new things- knowing that even if he doesn't say it right this time, there is another question coming. I want to share a story with you that broke my heart this morning. A young teenage boy with special needs went up to the counter at McDonald's to order his food and he was having a hard time getting the words out. You could tell he knew what he wanted to say but it was taking some time to say it. The lady at the counter became very uncomfortable and then, not knowing how to handle the boy, walked away. Someone else came to the counter and took the next person's order, asking the boy to step aside till he figured out what he wanted. The thing is, HE KNEW WHAT HE WANTED, and was saying it as the girl walked away... but that wasn't fast enough for her. She felt uncomfortable and didn't know how to help him (this is understandable) but the boy's face when she walked away was so sad! Can you imagine how you would feel if someone did that to you every day. Even if your IQ is low- you know when you're being loved or hated. You know when people are happy you're here or simply wish you weren't. People with disabilities are all around us in our society- we need to think ahead, plan ahead on how we are going to treat them... because chances are, you may feel uncomfortable and as a result, make a poor decision at their expense. I have been blessed with two kids with disabilities, and I have, on more than one occasion been uncomfortable in public, but that diminishes over time- pretty quickly actually. Eventually you realize what is most important and you see beyond the delay- you see the person you love. Any person is worth loving and showing love, no matter how severe their issues. My kids are full of personality, and spirit, and even words to say... they just haven't been spoken yet... but I will stand here patiently and wait with a smile and kind eyes that say "I love you and I'm so glad you're here!"

Our Freedom

2008-10-29T21:03:00.008-05:00

Well, the time is drawing closer and closer to election day... which is a big deal to many Americans and many are consumed with the news and details following this election. But I am not worried about the election. These, among other, worldly distractions continually bombard us, and as Christians we should recognise them as such and put them aside as we are told in scripture. My prayer is that we remember what should be central to our hearts, ears, and mouths, as well as remember what is truly central to our freedom, testifies of our freedom and is continually making us free- the true reality... JESUS! Any and every time the disciples or other followers tried to influence Jesus towards building an earthly kingdom, or endorsing or overturning the current one (the Roman Empire... I think) Jesus shut it down, made no room for it to grow. Instead, He came to proclaim that HE was the way, His Kingdom would reign- but not on our terms, not on our timing, nor would it accomplish our goals, but the Father's. May I just encourage you by saying that I am praying my own heart stays surrendered to God and that I abide in and learn more of His ways, as I pray for all of you (yeah- everybody) that we turn our eyes upon Jesus... not assuming we have the slightest clue as to what He may be up to- because let's be honest- we don't! And praise God for that! Everyone craves freedom, craves our own way, but we quickly realize that freedom has its price. In a human society (selfish society), chaos results if we consider just our own interests. Laws are necessary to guarantee freedom. This is also true with the laws of God. In Psalms it says, "So shall I keep Your law continually, forever and ever. And I will walk at liberty, for I seek Your precepts." And James calls God's law a "law of liberty," or freedom, when he says that "he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does" (James 1:25). He says this in the next chapter: "So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty" (vs. 12). Jesus is our perfect example of freedom! He kept God's commands. True freedom cannot come apart from obeying God's commandments. Loving obedience to God's law is not salvation by works, but a sincere, heartfelt response to want to love, serve, and please (praise) the Lord. It's not a matter of what's convenient for you or what suits your interests, but of what pleases God! By the way... it is an irony that, as we gain freedom through Christ, we become His slaves... yep! 1 Corinthians 7:22: "For he(she) who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord's freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ's slave." I don't know about you, but I would rather be a slave to Christ than to the rulers of this world, because there is no ruler who can bring true salvation- not a single man on earth that can bring true HOPE to Americans or any other nation for that matter. That man came, that man died, that man rose again...and THAT man - JESUS has my attention. Does He have yours?

An Album...

2008-10-27T21:53:00.017-05:00

... Did anybody else besides me grow up with the old vinyl record albums? Wow, I'm only 27, but I looked it up online and discovered that those big black vinyl albums are now considered "collectible items!" This is sure to happen to CD's next... or has it already?? So anyway, there is a story here. Once upon a time, when I was growing up in the woods- yes, thick woods actually- my Mom would put on these old worship records and sit on the floor with me and we would listen and sing old hymns and songs together. I was about 5 or 6, and much of what I knew about God at that time was in picture form. I knew that God created Adam and Eve ....and they were naked!- Quite the shock to the young mind ...but somehow Eve's long hair covered all the right spots and there was always that plant in front of Adam... ;-) Then there was Noah and the Arc with two of every animal- and the animals were smiling, and there was Joshua at the wall of Jericho, and the Christmas Story- fully displayed with Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, sheep, shepherds, wise men and stars- Oh, and the one BIG star that they followed to get to Jesus! All of these stories were fascinating to me and I found great enjoyment coloring the pictures... but then there were these old songs on old records, and somewhere in between the words and melody I experienced the presence of God. I'll never forget those moments. I didn't know why it felt so good to sing and could not explain the reason for her tears or mine- but it was a holy time. Looking back in my life I see so many ways that God has revealed Himself to me, many which were quite unexpected and creative, but there are certain moments that stand out- kind of like the star the wise men followed- and these moments ring true to my heart. My spirit acknowledged something my head could not. The presence and glory of God was so rich in that living room. Since then I have been fortunate to taste more of God's glory, but I like to go back to that memory to encourage my faith, because at that time of my life I was just a child. I had no agenda in coming to the Lord, I had no "baggage" to speak of, or reasons to think He would not want to hear me sing. I had no worries about friends or family or others at church in what they would think if I raised my hands or danced. There was just an inner knowing that God was here and this was a really good thing! I am so thankful I grew up in a home with parents who love God! I am fortunate to have this memory and I treasure it deeply... a star among stars, a grateful "collectible" for my soul.

Sharing some Chili with friends

2008-10-26T21:31:00.006-05:00

Today was beautiful outside and the young adults group at Living Hope met up at the park to share some Chili and desserts. I really enjoy times like these when we all get together. There is something really wonderful about spending time together eating, playing games, and talking. I may be old fashioned, but that is what I call "A good time!" I love the people at Living Hope and I love that this church doesn't just say that "life should be done together", but that's what we're actually doing, and I am thankful for this community. When you're out in the world all week long, what you hear can be so negative, and even if you're doing your best to pull the attitude of others upward, it's really nice to have some time with those who share the hope and love of Christ. I learn so much about the character of God through my friends. I now know why so many new testiment books start out with long greetings and words like, "I thank God for you..." When you experience God's grace and goodness through the church body, all you can say is, Wow God! Thank you so much!

I Chose you!

2008-10-25T22:03:00.013-05:00

"The rabbi thinks we can be like Him."

-R.B. "Velvet Elvis"

"If you are a disciple, you have committed your entire life to being like your rabbi. If you see your rabbi walk on water, what do you immediately want to do? Walk on water. So this disciple gets out on the water and he starts to sink, so he yells, "Jesus save me!" And Jesus says, "You of little faith, why do you doubt?" Who does Peter lose faith in? Not Jesus, He's doing fine. Peter loses faith in himself. Peter loses faith that he can do what the rabbi is doing. But if the rabbi calls you to be his disciple, then He believes you can actually be like Him... He even says to them at one point, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you." - Rob Bell, from his book, "Velvet Elvis"

This passage really spoke to my heart about the way I view myself in Christ. Sometimes the hardest part of identifying one's self with Christ is believing it is possible to be like Him - to know that beyond a doubt we are capable of anything through Christ. Rob goes on to say about the disciples, "It isn't their failure that's the problem; it's their greatness. They don't realize what they are capable of." ...Wow! To think that the more of our lives we submit to Christ the more trust we build, not only in Christ, but in ourselves because of Christ! Maybe you're like me, and you get caught up in staring at the waves of failures in your life. You believe in Christ, you've seen His power in your life, you know what He is capable of- you know His goodness you know His grace, you just sometimes forget what you're capable of as His chosen disciple! I don't ever want to forget that I am capable of catastrophe, but may I never lose sight of the One who died to claim me as an overcomer!

"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world- our faith." (1 john 5:3&4) ... I added the emphasis.

The Bridge Master

2008-10-25T12:43:00.000-05:00

Speaking of loving... this video shares the meaning of John 3:16 in film form. God really loves us beyond an imaginable degree.

http://www.maximumreferrals.com/bridge

"Prayer of the Gathering"

2008-10-25T11:10:00.000-05:00

My long time friend Bobby Schuller (who is also my son's Uncle Bobby) is a great guy with a growing ministry with young adults. Their meetings are called "the gathering." I met Bobby when he lived in Tulsa, but he hails from California and you can spot him in the Crystal Cathedral on Sundays. That is one big, beautiful, room btw! My first and only trip to CA , I had the honor of singing a song in it for his wedding. But I know him, not from a hike to the pulpit, but a hike to a little tribe in the mountains of Panama... this guy lives what he says. Though he and his wife Hannah live in Cali now, I love them and like to check up on them time to time and I am always blessed to see him thriving where they were planted...

Here is the "Prayer of the Gathering":

"God our Father, we pray, in the name of Christ Jesus our Savior, that our community would be built on lifelong friendships, as we journey toward you. Jesus is the vine, God is the vinedresser, the Holy Spirit is the sap, and we are the branches. Help us to abide in you, bearing in immeasurable harvest the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We pray that Your kingdom would come to our world, that you would remove the curse of evil, and that we could be a part of your rescue mission to a lost and dying world. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

My first blog!

2008-10-25T07:08:00.000-05:00

Hello! Let's live life loving! For starters, here are two little guys I'm loving...

My oldest son is Aidan and my youngest is Ethan. These two bring so much love and joy to my life and I'm so thankful to God for letting me see some of His glory through their eyes. My hope for this blog is to simply share some Jesus, share some love (same thing), and share some observations about life- all the while hoping you'll share back. We all have something to bring to the table of life... something brings us all together, and in my opinion that something is LOVE.