splish, splash, snacks, ... and then a nap!

Summer and John

Today I want to salute two dear people in my life, Summer Stovall, and John Lee... soon to be married! They've been engaged for a while now, so this post really isn't any sort of announcement or even a congratulations, but more of a tribute. I am so thankful to have met John and Summer and over the past year have grown to love them like family. Summer has a heart of gold and is always thinking of others and truly cares about those around her. John is the same way, with added humor, which makes everyone smile. :) I have watched both of them grow this past year, especially John and it has been quite a thrill to see him open up where he's been planted at our home church, Living Hope. Several months ago Summer, John, his family, and I celebrated and watched with happy tears and camera in hand as he was baptised for the first time. I love Summer so much and remain moved by her love and support for John. Our friendship comes so natural and we've been able to help each other out on several occasions with life circumstances. That's what friends are for, and it is a joy to give and receive so freely with loved ones like these. I can honestly say that I hope to know John and Summer for the rest of my life and I pray our friendship blossoms even more as we grow older. This August I have the privilege of being one of several ladies to stand by Summer as she and John say their wedding vows. Summer will be wearing my former wedding gown, as it is still beautiful and even more so with her in it! We don't have a lot of money for the wedding, but it seems that details are coming together one by one and God is providing for them through several others as well and I know He will continue to do so up to the wedding and after... which is when it's really needed! I don't know of a couple more deserving. If you're reading Summer, John, know that I love you and hope for such a bright future, you'll have to wear shades! ;) ... I also hope for the pitter patter of little baby feet coming from your direction... later of course. :)

An unavoidable ride on the E.R.C.

It is 10:25 in the evening. I remember seeing this same clock earlier this morning at 6:12 am- the moment I woke up and for some reason I remember this clearly. A whole lot has happened between now and this morning. At 6:30am the emotional roller coaster started clicking it's way up the tracks. I knew it would start because last week Sam reminded me that today he was picking the boys up to take them to Seaside for a week. I am thrilled that they get to see the ocean again, though I have never enjoyed this experience with them (vacations are expensive) Sam and his family take them to Seaside, FL each year. They will have fun, they will be loved, but they will also be missed... which started at 6:30 when I watched them drive off. My morning was peaceful. Laundry, picked up toys, made the beds, took a shower. Talked to Adam for a bit... he was at work but suggested I go spend the day in the sunny out doors. He has already learned that I get a bit depressed when cooped up for days. Off to Shelby farms I went, totally unsuspecting of anything but joggers and families with kites. However, when I arrived there were signs everywhere saying "Memphis friends of Israel festival!" My heart leaped inside my chest! I was so excited because the nation of Israel has a special place in my heart and so do it's people. There was Jewish music, food, and dancing! I had an absolute blast! Bought a flag, the T-shirt and signed up on the mailing list. My enthusiasm was apparently noticed, when a Jewish family there started talking to me. A man named David Kirsch said he was shocked to find out that I wasn't Jewish at the end of our conversation. He said, "Your name is Sarah, you are tan with brown hair, you seem to know a lot about Israel's history, and you looked so moved by the music and dancing." I told him that being mistaken for a Jew was a compliment. I spent the entire afternoon enjoying the atmosphere and teared up as the Rabbi said words of Thankfulness to Memphians for coming out to support Israel. He lives there and said that when the Jewish people go out in public they always look around for "shelter spots" they could run to if needed in time of attack, bombing or shooting. In fact, so happened, the Shelby County Bomb squad and fire trucks were there at the park today. He spoke words of hope, love, joy, and peace. Then we sang and danced- it was like how I picture heaven would be, if I could picture anything close. The older women dancing tickled me pink and we cheered them on. After the festival I went to the Mall to eat and people watch- don't laugh, but I love to people watch. However, today in my observations I witnessed a side of humanity I hate. There were some kids in the food court snickering and making fun of a young man in charge of cleaning tables who clearly had downs syndrome. He was walking slowly around and kept his head down. I sat there for a minute while tears formed in my eyes and asked God why He allows this shit (yes, I used that word in prayer) to happen to innocent people- why he allows people to be disabled, but more so why he allows them to be disabled and humiliated, rejected, and shamed is beyond belief. I thought of my boys growing older and with one more comment from those rich spoiled-ass brats, I was up on my feet. Tears and all, I walked over to them with full intention of yanking the hair out of every head at that table. When I got over there they all looked up at me and I was speechless. High school. I just stared at them for a minute and breathed, then I walked over to the young man cleaning tables. He kept his head down and shrunk back for a second as I approached, but then perked up a bit when I told him he was doing a great job cleaning and that I was proud of him. He looked at me and smiled. His eyes looked like little rainbows. I walked away and cried when I turned the corner... (no, I am not on my period, just haven't cried in a long time and it finally caught up with me all in one day.)But the E.R.C. wasn't over. Momma called at 6:44pm to tell me that my Grandma just died. That's my Momma's Mom and though she was old and getting weaker, it was unexpected and very sad news. I asked Momma if she wanted me to come over and she said not to, she had some things she needed to do and it was getting late. Honestly, I don't believe she wanted to handle it tonight, but she will have to face the memories and this loss again in the morning. I'll miss Grandma Howard, I miss my children, I'm sad for my Mom and I don't see how it's possible to feel so many emotions in one day. To go from happy good morning cuddles, to sad, to content, to thrilled, to angry, to grieved, to lost, and now numb- all in one day. It's 11:00 and I don't really know where I am on the E.R.C. but I know I feel better after writing this and I hope to sleep and wake up ready for tomorrow. Goodnight.

Perspective

I was thinking about our economy again today... we've been a little slow at work, not seeing near as many new exams as we had hoped for this quarter, and my boss had asked us to draw names to see who would be off work one day of the week for the past three weeks. No body wanted their name in the hat because all of us need to work to pay the bills. I heard rumors that we might be required to be put on rotation and everyone gets cut to a 4 day work week instead of 5, if business doesn't pick up. I was thinking about how "terrible" this would be and quietly flipped out just thinking about it. I went to the bathroom to pull myself together, as I could already picture my checking account digits dropping and my parents giving the "I told you so" speech over my decision to move out during a poor economic status. I let this rumor bother me for the rest of the day, and though I kept my smile on, my boss asked me to his office to see how I was doing. He has never asked me that so I knew my smile wasn't big enough... or maybe it was so big he saw right through it. Either way, I quickly told him I was fine and just feeling a little stressed, but nothing major. I went home that night and let my imagination run wild- in the wrong direction. I pictured our whole city outside in long lines waiting to buy food rations, and handing over my last dollar so that the boys could eat one more time... it was pathetic. Then, right as a tight knot was building in my throat at the thought of my kids going hungry, another emotion much stronger rose up on the inside of me like a good slap in the face. The feeling was basically, "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" I will not let it get that bad! I started forcing my imagination in the other direction. From that spot- spending my last dollar, I pictured what to do from there. Step by step I worked my way back to having something, then having enough and then having plenty, and then realizing that I can not spend precious time fretting over the "what if's" THERE WILL ALWAYS BE TERRIBLE WHAT IF'S! I know about today and I do what needs to be done for today, and when tomorrow comes, I'll do what needs to be done tomorrow, and if I need to adjust or do more, I'll do it. If all the "what if's" beat on the door, I'll beat them back, (there are scriptures to beat them with, aren't there?) and if some "what if's" turn into "what is" then I'll face it head on with all the strength I can muster. One day at a time, one step at a time, one mountain, then the next... And with that good thought in my head, another good one came right after: GIVE! Right now I have enough. Right now I can give of what I have. It might not be much, but I can give what I can when I can. The Lord knows what my kids and I need and He can sustain us if He wants to. I'm hoping and believing that He wants to.


p.s. I found out that rumor came from someone other than the boss.

All Moved!

Aidan, Ethan, and I are all moved in and all unpacked! I am really pleased with the layout of the apartment and it's plenty of room for us and all of their toys- haha! I had to do some shopping (which is usually not something I enjoy) but I have to say it was fun shopping for this place- especially finding a good vacuum cleaner for only $39 and a really cute monkey bathroom shower curtain and decor for the boys bathroom was a pretty good price at Target. Their bathroom trash can is a smiling monkey holding a banana. And the rug is a huge monkey face. When Aidan saw it for the first time he laughed and said, "George!" I don't think it's meant to be Curious George, but since he was thrilled by the idea, I am too.
My parents came over for Pizza and salad last night. Guess what! My oven works! Everything works in this place! (knock on wood) It's great. I gave the boys the master bed/bath, and I took the second room, which is a little smaller, but has a beautiful vaulted ceiling (hey! Another benefit to a 3rd floor!) and a huge window. The pool opens on Memorial Day and I'm looking forward to taking the kids. I haven't actually showed them the pool yet because we can't get in it.
This weekend I won't have the boys, so I'm getting a few more things organized, and then I'm getting all dolled up (something I definitely haven't done this week) and going out with Adam for our date night!
Yippy Skippy! :)